The Hardest Days...

... are not when my calendar is full to the bursting.

When my car is overflowing with water bottles and soccer balls and after-game snacks.
When my gas tank is perpetually emptying and my knuckles are sore from gripping the steering wheel nervously... navigating to far distant fields.
When the littlest nods his head sleepily, yet another nap taken "on the go."
When my house reflects the chaos of 15-minute meals
When we trade school bags for soccer bags, heading out into the muggy Texas twilight...

No, those are not the hardest days.

The hardest days are those I spend at home, catching up and trying to make sense of the rhythm and rhyme of having half of my children in school, and half at home.
Laundry, cleaning, baking... all happen in one fell swoop.
And it's overwhelming.

Especially when I go to make buns for dinner and find that our flour has been seriously depleted due to the over-zealous zuccini-bread-baking of Little Dear.
Or when I realize that showering takes precedence to a quick run-for-flour to the grocery store. (y'all know how *that* goes, right?)
Or the week-long feverish Little Dude... a time where I must sit and rock and sit and rock, while chaos reigns.
When Little Love's  fragile heart has been wounded, once again, by the short-tempered Little Boo's complete intolerance for mess.
When my own heart aches for understanding and grasps for charity.
Sigh.
It's a lesson in patience.


The hardest days are those I will myself through. To banish the thoughts of perfection never reached.
To ignore the whispers of not-good-enough.

These are the days I stand face-to-face with my own self and dig deeper and try harder than it seems possible.

It's the hidden struggle I fear most. The one that assails my thoughts and threatens to shipwreck my heart.

On those days I am so grateful for the companions I have here on earth, who help me along to my heavenly goal.  Andrew, who listens to my frustrations, wipes away my tears, and steadies me.  My dearest friend, who patiently listens, sympathizes, and then reminds me of the bigger picture.

The hardest days are what make me feel the most blessed.

Because Sometimes, It IS Just Me

Actually, I'm pretty sure it's always me.

:P

I was invited to a mom's night out Wednesday evening.  It was for a new homeschooling group in the area, a Catholic one, with many wonderful moms.

I didn't go.  Not because of Little Dude, or DH's work schedule, or the craziness of soccer practices....
Not because of the women there... they are all so wonderful and lovely and joy-filled.

I didn't go because I didn't want to.

I didn't want to paste a smile on my face and share a recipe, I didn't want to make myself presentable, re-fresh my make-up and laugh at the craziness of my days.  I didn't want to sit and chat.

I just... couldn't.

My days are too raw right now.  My temper too fragile.  My nerves too totally and completely shot.  Two weeks into doing the juggling act between homeschooling and homework, between stay-at-home and drive-to-school, between sleep-in and get-up-and-get-out...  and I am tired.

We bloggers have to walk a fine line.  Too much real-deal stuff and people won't read. It's depressing.  Too much sunshiney-happy-faced stuff, and people won't read.  It seems fake.

So it goes in the real world.  

I couldn't handle happy-shiny Wednesday evening. I needed heart-to-heart. I needed real. I wonder how many other homeschooling moms need that, needed that instead.

I don't know how to provide that. I'm too choleric.  I'm too melancholic.  And I'm sarcastic.... a NYer to the core.  It's a horrible combination sometimes, but there you have it. My IRL friends are gems.  They put up with me. I dare say they even love me, in spite of it all.

And while I am grateful for the happy women, I also crave the real.  The down-to-earth, the nitty-gritty, the wow, this is just too damn hard, let's get a drink!

So, DH and I will be going out tomorrow night.  To get that drink, and have that chat.

Thank goodness he loves me, melancholic-choleric-NY-sarcasm and all....


:)

Ethan These Days

The last in my insanely long series....  :)

Ethan is our Action Man.  But I seriously think I need to change his blog name to Sleeping Man.  When Ethan turned 13, the dynamics of our home and family took on a whole new charism.

For example.  It seems we now own a humongous St. Bernard.  Ethan shot up like nobody's business these last 6 months and is almost as tall as I am.  With his new height and long limbs comes the interesting feat of having them all constantly under control.  Alas, our new yearling behaves much like a bull in a china shop.  All brawn, no brains.  We will hear various thumps and bumps, and all of us run expecting to see some maimed corpse at the bottom of the stairs, only to find.... yes, it was Ethan, and yes, he fell.... but it was... up the stairs.

:P

The sleep patterns.  Oy, the sleeping patterns.  How they have changed. We now have a nighttime wanderer.  I'll be half-asleep, dying to get into bed, schlepping around getting drinks of water or blankies or whatever, and suddenly a beam of light hits me full in the face.  Just when I think the aliens have come for sure, Ethan's scratchy voice assails me with some hair-brained idea for fixing the whachermacallit and he's off, bounding to the garage, headlamp sending bouncing beams of light everywhere.  He's like his own disco ball and dance partner, rolled into one.

He eats. Does he ever eat! Actually the question should be... does he ever stop eating?   I restrict snacks with the other kids, but not him.  He is constantly hungry.  Period.  I've given up trying to "solve" the hunger problem. I just tell him to go find something to munch on.  And he does.  Pickles, bananas, peanut butter, eggs... it doesn't matter, he'll try anything.  I'm just happy if we can make it an hour between binges. And, as long as he doesn't eat up the dinner I'm hoping to serve that evening, I'm thrilled.

:P

This is the child that tears at my heart the most.  What can I expect? He is the oldest.

Every time I turn around, he is breaking new ground.  There was one particular incident that occurred right around the time Little Dude was born.  Suffice it to say that liberties were taken and trust was broken.  I was devastated.  Yes, probably overreacting, but it broke my heart. Ethan was penitent. Extremely so.  The result was that our relationship has never been the same.  In fact, it has grown exponentially.  Surprising?  Yes.  And I would not have a re-do for all the world over.

 

There is an understanding and a softening of his eyes when I look at him during one of our (many) "trying" moments.  He seems to suddenly remember "that time" my trust was wounded and wanting... and instantly he backs off. He seems to know that having Mom on his side is more important than being "right" and, wanting to preserve the relationship, he acquieces to whatever maddening demand I am making on his time.  He has grown up quite a bit.

Ethan has weathered a few other storms recently.  He played baseball this past spring. I was strangely quiet about that on this blog. We'll just say that he learned a lot.  He learned that even adults do and say ridiculous things. That some people never quite grow up and will forever have a chip on their shoulder.  He also learned that most of the language one hears in a dugout filled with teenagers is not for the ears of siblings, as he deftly would persuade his sisters to sit at the other end of the bleachers during games, and could I please make sure they didn't hang around when he was out on the field? He never complained, was never made fun of, was never cast out... he just dealt with it.  I was very proud of him for that.

And I was very glad that his Dad was there with him, every step of the way.

I still worry.  This is my oldest.  He has so much more ground to cover, so many more goals to reach.  I wonder if he will succeed.  Have we taught him enough? Does he understand how cold and cruel life can be?  Is he ready to venture out?  Yes, I worry a lot.

His first step out comes this fall.  He will go to school, and I will not cry.

But I will be a stronghold for him.

Because, you see, I've got his back.

I know that he knows that.

And I think that will make all the difference in the world.

So Much To Say...

Words swirl around my head.  Posts composed in the twilight.  So much to share, no time to sit at keyboard and plunk.

I approach this morning with trepidation.  A long night translates into a quiet morning.  All are still asleep.  Yes, even the littlest.

The littlest who takes up the biggest part of me.
The one all flock to when rising.
He, who inspires humor and the most ridiculous serenades.

He consumes me.  I am so honored.
:)

Little Dude is growing so quickly. 
I find myself less torn these days....
You know, torn between wanting him to stay little and wanting him to grow and explore.

I used to be so torn.  With Little Love, especially. 
How to know God's plan?  Will we have another? Can we just freeze this moment? For one more second?

But now...
Now that my boys are set to head off to school in the fall... I am so. excited. for them.  Truly.  I have no regrets and really am peaceful that this is what God wants for them, right now.  I can't wait for them to go.  Not because I don't want them around, but because I know this is where they need to be.

My Little Dear is so interested in dance and theater right now... and will be starting piano.  So excited for her to find her niche!  So excited that she got to go see a wonderful production of "As You Like It" last night with her drama class. She was glowing when she got home.  

Now that Little Boo is a super star soccer player (ok, not really) I know that she is ready to take on the extra practices and games... indeed, she's been telling me this for quite awhile now.  Hoofing it to practice in 100 degree temps is not MY idea of a good time.  Ask Little Boo, however....  :)

That leaves my littlest, Little Love.  She will always be my baby.  But I am still so excited that she is growing up.  She went to Camp Jesus all. week. with her sisters.  Came home red-cheeked and full of stories every day.  Up and at-em the next morning... and off she went. The house is quieter.  The rooms less messy. :P  But that big smile when I see her in the afternoon and the joy at being with her friends is just awesome.

I know that as my kids reach different milestones, I will always look back at when they were "little" and smile.

But I can see how the joy of watching them grow... of encouraging them to grow into the people God wants them to be, will more than make up for the longings of those days gone by.

Well... almost.
:)

P.S.

Brynach These Days is a big fat fuss.

Poor Little Dude will be going to the doctor today, for a possible ear infection.  Or maybe it's teething.  Or maybe he just really likes to nurse all. night. long. for the sheer thrill of it? I dunno.  These little peeps don't come with instructions or light up buttons.  Maybe we should have just settled for an iPhone instead.  And get the "new baby" app?  Surely they must have that by now.

:P

After a 12 hour drive home from my parents yesterday, it's all I can do to gulp down my coffee and be minor-ly civil to my family.

The series of ruminations on my other darlings will continue at a later date.


Happy New Year.


:)


ETA: It's a double ear infection. Poor Little Dude. :(

Daybook: Fall Arrives

This morning dawned cool and crisp.... lows in the 50's.  We've had the windows open every night, and the cool breezes are so welcomed by this body who has it's own internal heating element.  Poor DH!  Canadian though he is, I've been insisting on fans blowing and no covers.. all night long.  I haven't slept this well in months.


Outside My Window...

Cobalt blue skies and sun, and a brisk wind.  Now, brisk for us is 70 degrees.... so take it with a grain of salt, y'all.  I'm just thrilled to be able to watch my kids play soccer without melting!!

I Am Listening To...

Silence.  And the occasional door slam.   The little girls have a friend over, and my boys are oscillating between the basketball hoop, the hockey net and airsoft target practice.  It's as if they don't know what to do first!  Fall means outdoor play here, and the bikes and scooters and balls are in constant motion after 5 months of lying dormant.

I Am Wearing...

Maternity jean shorts and a white maternity tank top, silver hoop earrings, hair in a pony tail.  It's almost time to take Sports Fan to practice, and it will be warm sitting in the sun chatting with the other moms. Earlier today, I had on flared pants and a long-sleeved gray gap shirt. (maternity as well)  We have two wardrobes going these days.  But I don't mind a bit.


I Am So Grateful For...

Dear friends who celebrate this new birth with so much enthusiasm... as evidenced by the wondrous spread they put on for my baby shower yesterday.  It was exquisite.  And re-connecting with some of my local friends that I don't get to see very often (you know how busy we moms can get) warmed my heart. I am very blessed.

I Am Pondering...

Mostly school stuff.  I know, boring.  :P  But since I teach American History for our co-op, I am constantly searching through resources to come up with ways to bring history to life.  The kids are delightful and eager to learn and participate.  I am exhausted, but in a good way.


I Am Reading...

In Conversation With God.  I really want to participate in my bookclub this month, so I need to find Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day.  And I am always reading this.


I Am Thinking...

About this blog, this space.  I am out of practice in writing out these days.  My words tumble all mish-mash and nothing flows.  I've been distracted for far too long.  Can I find my way back?  Can I reclaim my voice?  How will it be... once Little Dude is on the scene?  I am hopeful that I will find the time and the words again.  This may be my last chance to capture these baby years...

I Am Creating.....

Order. And lists.  3 weeks and a bit until my world turns upside down and inside out.  I wish I could just focus on this new life that is coming, but practicality has to kick in here.  There are 5 other children to think of, my classes to cover and plan for the substitute, a meal and weekly plan for my parents to navigate, and many other considerations since I will be unavailable for quite some time.  C-sections are not my preferred modus operandi. Yet, much as I hate them, I need to face it and make accommodations.

On my iPod....

Lots of old western radio shows.  Which is why I don't seem to have an iPod anymore.... maybe I should say "On Action Man's iPod"...  ;P


Towards a Real Education...

Our homeschool co-op is AWESOME.  Coupled with our cd-rom based Math, we are cruising.  My kids love seeing their good friends, and I love that they have to answer to someone! else!  But, I still get to have them home all week.  And! I'm teaching again!  It's so fun.  I didn't realize how much I missed formal classroom teaching.  And being with these students is a real joy.

Towards Rhythm and Beauty...

We are in preparation mode.  I am slowly assimilating the kids into their new roles, as the need for me to step back and step down increases.  Laundry, dishes, vacuuming, cooking... all of these chores are doable by my older children, and I need to let go and let them help.  So far, they are responding... usually without too much complaining. I know it's good for them.  They need to understand and appreciate the hard work that is family life.  And hopefully, see the joy in it all as well.
:)

To Live the Liturgy...

Religion classes have spawned many interesting dinner discussions, and with All Saints Day around the corner, I expect we will delve even deeper into the mysteries of the faith.  It's wonderful to see even Little Love sharing her new-found knowledge with the family.

I Am Hoping and Praying...

For this Little One.  For the upcoming surgery.  Less understanding forums call it "birth by scalpel"... and while I cannot argue with the accuracy of the statement, I cry out against the implications.  That somehow I have chosen the easy, less natural way, and that I, and my baby, are lesser people for it.  If they only knew how much I abhor this surgery, how much I wish things could happen differently, and how I have been dreading it since that day when two pink lines announced the reality of this newest soul.  It's the bitter pill I must swallow, the dark cloud that has surrounded my thoughts constantly... the mountain of pain and fear and worry I must climb in order to see and hold my bundle of joy. Yes, I need lots of prayers... thank you!
:)

In The Garden....

I am sorry to say that our landscaping neighbors have moved, and I, and my black thumb, are completely on our own.  I do have an e-mail address, and a basic understanding of which flowers should be planted when.  I have been told to stay away from the big box stores, and, armed with this scant knowledge, I will be attempting to keep our front bed looking spiffy.  Right now, the stuff* out there looks great, and I hope it will last through the birth and recovery of Little Dude. (*yeah... don't even ask... have no clue what I planted)

From the Kitchen...

Not much.  Dinner, most nights.  I have a ton of carrots and the makings for carrot cake... we'll see if it gets accomplished.  My plans are for quick, easy meals, and lots of water and diluted juice for me.  I'm combating the last weeks of soreness and swollen ankles.  It's a race to the finish, and I feel like the tortoise in that famous fable.  But I know I will get there.  And that's a huge consolation!

One of my Favorite Things...

The lake in the fall.  I had planned to go last week.  We got everything and everyone loaded into the car, I turned the key, and... nothing.  Now that we have a new battery for the van and the promise of continued gorgeous weather, we will hopefully go this week.  A little respite is needed before this baby comes to rock our world.

A Few Plans for the Rest of the Week...

This week will be fairly quiet. A hair appointment for me (aka... operation hide-the-grays)  soccer practices, and an orthodontist appointment for Action Man.  Next week is the doozy with my parents coming for a full-blown fun soccer weekend, dry runs with our crazy schedule, and dentist and doctor visits for me.  I have a feeling the next 3 weeks are going to fly.

A Picture Thought....

I and my beautiful, thoughtful friends who worked together to put on an amazing baby shower for me Sunday afternoon.
(p.s.  I'm the one with the belly....)

:P

Sixty Minutes

We are a homeschooling family. That means that I have the privilege of being constantly surrounded by my children 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. (yes, I do mean 24 hours... you should see the nightly bed rotations)

For most of my waking hours (well over 12) I am perpetually engaged. Little Love is being formally homeschooled now. And she takes up the majority of my time during the day. She is a delightful learner, and very diligent. But it is a lesson in heroic patience to calmly spell out every single word she needs to write for her Spelling sentences, to listen as she sounds out the words in her reader, to point out again where Greenland is and that she needs to place the label "just there."

Couple that with Little Boo's exasperation over a History timeline that won't line up, Religion reading that is just above her level, and the never-ending battle of taming her pencil.... along with the challenges of the older three and their ability to either disappear or annoy the hell out of each other on a minute-by-minute basis... and I'm pretty much worn out by 11am.

Enter my brilliant husband.

On the first day of homeschooling, DH was standing in the kitchen at lunch time, listening as I spelled out a word for Little Love, told Sports Fan where the Bible was, and yelled up the stairs at Action Man... all while my shaking hands attempted to make a sandwich to appease my own low-blood sugar level. He commented that he thought I needed a break.

I almost hit him with a knife full of mayo.Me? A veteran homeschool mom needing a break on the very first day??? What am I? A wimp?

But then he explained.... I need a one hour break, every day. Where I am not to be disturbed. So that I can eat lunch, sit down, have a huge glass of water... and just be. With no schoolwork to help with, and most definitely nothing to engage in. In fact, he said, everyone needs that break. No matter where they are at on their schedule, no matter how much they have gotten accomplished... from 11:30 - 12:30 the kids are to get their lunch, eat, and then play. And not bother Mom. Period.

I admit, I was skeptical. But I also saw the need. I am the type of mom (and aren't we all?) who will get everyone's lunch, wipe down the kitchen and do the dishes before I'll sit down myself and eat. I will teach Math in between bites of pb&j, while gulping down leftover cold coffee. In short, I will not take the time to care for myself and I'll end up grumpy and undernourished by the end of the afternoon. Nobody wins.

So, now we get the gift of a break. We all do. The kids make their own lunches (I'll help the younger girls) and then eat and read quietly. I make my own lunch and either eat outside by myself, or with my prayer book. Then, I'll check e-mail or maybe make some phone calls or just sit quietly outside and breathe.

I am at a certain season in my life. Our family is in this season together. The children are close in age, and all self-sufficient. They can all play together.. and often do. There are no toddlers or newborns (yet... very soon, though!) and we (I) have the luxury of an hour of (relative) peace. (no method is perfect of course... we have had some unrest and bickering during our "breaks"... ) And I understand that for many homeschooling moms, this hour of solace in the middle of the day is an unrealistic expectation. But I would encourage those who can... make use of naptimes to enforce a quiet time for your non-nappers. Put out books and puzzles or even put on a little show..... just to be able to disengage... to breathe and clear your mind. To give the schooling ones a chance to recuperate from a morning of intense learning. (It's amazing how a stubborn math problem unravels like magic after an hour of outdoor play.)

You yourself will be a more cheerful, patient mom. And that is a gift every child needs.

:)

More Of Me To Love

So, the countdown is on.  6 weeks to go, and then Little Dude will come screaming into our lives.  I know he will be screaming, because:
(a) Every. SINGLE. one of my children have been colicky... I don't even hold out hope anymore for that elusive "easy" baby, and...
(b) This kid has not stopped kicking me since I hit the 4 month mark.

I am worn and battered, y'all.

I've suffered (?) the usual pregnancy woes... insomnia, vein troubles, stomach growth (ha!), and my newest friend... heartburn.

LOVIN' the heartburn.  No, really.  For once I'm half serious. 

You see, for each of my previous pregnancies, I gained about 60 lbs. And this time around, I was sure that my legs and back would not be able to handle that kind of baggage.  My doctor had been urging me to stick to the recommended 25-30 lb. range. 
*Excuse me while I laugh uproariously* 
You see, once I hit the non-nausea stage, I'm all over food.  Literally.
:P

Except.  Now I've got heartburn.  As in, I simply cannot eat a thing after 9pm.  Especially ice cream, cake, cookies... you name it.  If I want to indulge, it has to be early in the day, with the kids bugging me as to why I get ice cream at 3pm and they don't, and don't I feel like a mean Mama for dishing myself a bowl when they're having peanut butter on bread and...

Yeah.  Forget it.

So, I go to bed dutifully with my glass of ice water, munching away on the melting ice cubes, thus granting myself a night free from the burning in my throat and chest. 

And the payoff?

A pound a week.
Mission accomplished.
:D

Oh, except for the swelling in my ankles...

Now there's a worthy topic.

;P

Because We Were Separated at Birth....

... and because my brain can barely string two sentences together...

I present to you my "twin" Danielle, who has perfectly captured every aspect of my thoughts on homeschooling.


My Annual Homeschool Freak Out



Yes, we started yesterday. Yes, it's overwhelming. No, I wouldn't change it for a thing.

And here we go again today.

:)

Wee Small Hours of the Morning

If people were meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters.

~Author Unknown

I have pregnancy insomnia.

This is nothing new. With every single one of my pregnancies, I would be up for hours in the middle of the night, reading and/or writing. I have countless journal entries from those earlier times.... before my blogging days.

But this time, it is happening so much sooner than I had thought it would.

Usually, insomnia hits about month 8, when I am so huge that finding a comfortable position in bed is impossible. And I spend my days (and nights) in some sort of hyperventilating alternate universe, longing for the days when the baby comes and I am so truly exhausted I can fall asleep while sitting up.

I know. It's a crazy desire, to want that fatigue that accompanies those first days with a newborn. But the promise of that deep, dreamless sleep to come, helps me to cope with my inability to sleep now.

Except now promises to be about 3 months long.

:P

And so, I arise these days around 6am. 6:30am if I'm lucky. For our family, this is insanely early. Most of my kids don't even stir until after 8am. Yes, even on school days.

The only downside of this arrangement is that I usually hit the wall around 3pm.. and then again around 9pm. But I have learned that there are definite advantages to being the first one awake. Having the house to myself for a few hours is actually a wonderful thing!

Early mornings mean:

~uninterrupted prayer time
~being able to write without taking away from family life
~guilt-free "extra" coffee consumption :)
~getting the laundry folded (or dishwasher emptied or...)
~readying myself for the day before the kids wake up

I'm positive that once this Little Dude makes his grand entrance, my quiet time alone in the morning will be nothing but a fleeting memory of a lifetime ago. My pj's will be my main wardrobe, my coffee will be gulped down between feedings, and the laundry will be in the not-so-capable hands of my children. And that's ok.

This is where I am at right now. And I will take full advantage, so that when the next phase comes, I can immerse myself in the blessings of that life.

And the cycle continues...

:)

When He's Gone

Mornings are spent assessing the day.  Coffee in hand, eyes searching the rooms of the house.

What can be done..
what needs to be done...
how to pass the day...
make it go by faster....

Children are restless, what are we doing today, Mama? Is a question that rings in my ears... echoing off the empty walls.  Empty now for only one reason.

He is gone.  On a business trip.  On a family trip.  The reason is not important, just the absence.  And the yawning of the days in front of me... days that must be filled.  Filled with purpose and accomplishment.

And maybe?  A bit of joy and memories?  To report to Him when He comes home to us again?  That we did survive, that we did enjoy?  That it was okay for him to leave...

Afternoon, and I am in the kitchen, scrubbing away breakfast and lunch dishes.  Children are full, resting and reading, and I am alone with my thoughts.  Dinner, afternoon activities, and evening time.  All are a-jumble and I try to focus on the task at hand.  Try to mentally fill the hours of the afternoon, trying to juggle the necessary with the superficial.  Do I really need to stop at the store?  Can it wait?  Who can I leave home?  How will it work in the plans for the day?

Dinner time, and His place sits empty.  The kids clamor to fill it, but I refuse.  Another battle I simply cannot initiate.  Who sat in Papa's seat last night?  No.  Amidst all the other 'battles' and 'turns', this one will not be among them.

Dishes and feet scrubbed, sweet-smelling hair and children tucked in.  Doors and windows are locked... front door made extra secure.  I follow the children up the stairs and run my own bath.  It is my own little secret... to not be downstairs alone at night in the quiet.  My oldest, almost a man himself, reads in my bed as I soak in the other room.  His presence is comforting somehow. 

In a day or so... He will be home.  And the rhythm of the house will return, and all will be as it should be.  His footsteps coming downstairs in the morning as He heads off to work.  His key in the lock when He returns home. I will breathe again, and life will resume.

In the meantime,  we will wait, and fill our days. 



Note to concerned family and friends... (and especially any people with malicious intent...) this post was written after the fact. DH is safe and sound at home now... :)

Love. It.

And the answer?

Um. Yes. Very much so, Sir.


:P


h/t: here, via Drudge.

End of the School Year Insanity

Everyone has this. No one escapes it.

Yes, even home schoolers. It's May, and there are eighty-zillion projects to wind up, four trillion assignments to go, (well, it feels like it anyway!) and one burnt out Mama who would rather sit outside and read while her kids play "Hulk- SMASH" with the outdoor playhouse.

Truly, this is me today.

Action Man has his make-up state test tomorrow morning, and diagnostic testing in the afternoon... All of the kids have end-of-the-year testing this week, glorious novel reading for Literature (I love those units) and I have tons and tons of prep work for Little Dear's First Communion Saturday and humongous party on Sunday.

Then, when school ends June 2nd... I have to literally pack up the school room and ship the books back before packing my kids off to camp for the week.

I think I need a Margarita.

:)

I love the fact that summer is almost here. I love the slower pace, the sleepy mornings, the trips to the lake and the pool, the gatherings with friends. I love the trips north, the different landscapes, the varied schedules, the late nights of bonfires and s'mores.

I love summer.

It's the getting there, the pushing through these last two weeks that just might send me over the edge.

:)

Trucking Along

Here's a mid-year update on the Nut House Homeschooling endeavor.

As you may remember, we are trying out a fully state-funded program this year. We get the books, workbooks, supplies and computer for free.

As with anything free, though, you are bound to pay a price somewhere:

~Action Man's dyslexia tutoring is not, in fact, paid for by the state. Actually, because he was diagnosed outside of a state mandated facility, I have had to literally wrangle and yell, and speak oh-so-firmly and NYer obnoxiously in order to get him the help he needs. When our teacher finally clued in that I was seriously serious, (around Dec) she finally got her act together and found the correct channels to go through, and we're on the right path. Of course, this delay has only further exacerbated his frustration, but there is nothing to be done about it now. Our teacher was new this year, and TXVA underwent a huge growth spurt *right before* school started which meant extreme chaos for all involved, and thereby shelving all *special* requests for testing and such. I popped a few blood vessels in my forehead, but what's done is done. And now Action Man is enjoying his special one-on-one study halls with his new teacher and smaller classroom situations online as well as tailor-made interventions for his writing assignments. It's been great.

~There is a LOT of culling to be done with this curriculum. Not the K12 part. That stuff is great. But the fact that TEA (The Texas Education Agency) has to have their hands all over it to make sure the kids are learning what is "required" by the state of Texas, makes some of the subjects in need of severe modifications. For example, my kids are using *gasp* textbooks for history. Yuck. Thank goodness for friends who are willing to respond to panicked late night e-mails for ideas on living history books to supplement some dry Civil War textbook chapter.

~Along the same lines, my kids are now *required* to take Health. Now, it's not what you think. No evil S&x Ed stuff. But, they do think my 3rd grade girl really and truly needs to know all about the drug addictions of marijuana and cocaine, as well as eating disorders like anorexia and bulimia. Hmmm. I don't think so! I take those lesson tests for her and we skip those chapters.

~There's a lot of workbooking and worksheeting going on as well. I'm focusing on the relevant stuff and ditching the "fill in the blank using the word bank" baloney. If the kids are learning about Main idea and Theme, or using new literary terms like personification or onomatopoeia, then fine. If it's map reading or drawing conclusions, great. But some of the stuff was a bit overkill. Thanks goodness for Story of the World! The kids are finally getting to that now and our written and illustrated narrations take up the whole classroom.

~Biggest downside? The dreaded TAKS. My kids have never taken standardized tests, and while I'm not against standardized tests in general, there seems to be an over-emphasis on preparing for them. The few tests we've taken so far, the kids have done horribly. So much for home schoolers doing well on these types of tests. Maybe my kids are just bad test takers, or maybe they really do need a few lessons on "how to take a test." SATs are not that far away.... so even though I'm dreading these things, I'm glad my kids have a chance to see what it's like and what they can do.

~I do love the "hands off" approach of the actual Academy. We have two written compositions and two assignments of Math, History and Science due every 9 weeks. Monthly phone conferences and weekly study halls for the kids, and 3% of the curriculum completed per week is all that is required. I do not have to hand in every single Math worksheet or Literature assignment. As long as the child knows the concept, we can move on. In fact, Sports Fan is 88% finished with his Math for the year, simply b/c I could fast track him through the parts of the 3rd grade book that he already knew and mastered.


Taking all of this into account, we are seriously leaning toward continuing with this curriculum next year. It's been a big money saver, and we are pleased overall with how well the kids are doing with it. The curriculum is solid, and since I'm a bit of a veteran, it's easy for me to navigate the murkier waters. For those craftier moms, it could seriously cramp your style, but I bet lots of lessons would benefit from that kind of talent, and there definitely is wiggle room within each lesson.



Probably more than you wanted/needed to know... but some have asked, and I'm all about pleasin' the masses. (well, the important ones, anyway)

:)

Day In The Life

Since yesterday was the first home school day that my children were finished before 12 noon, I thought I would give you a detailed glimpse into our home schooling world this year. This was our day on Tuesday:

7am: Alarm rings

7:15am: Get up

7:30am: Haul Littles Love and Boo out of bed, get them dressed and downstairs for breakfast.

8am: Say good-bye to them, as DH takes them to their Montessori class (two mornings a week)

8:30am: Finish breakfast and wonder aloud WHY my other children are nowhere to be found. Search the house for them.

9am: Start school.

11:30am: Glance at clock in amazement. Contemplate phoning the Guiness Book of World Records to report the most amazing talent my children have of taking 2 and 1/2 hours to complete one simple subject apiece.

11:35am: Race out the door to pick up Littles Love and Boo.

12 noon: Make 30 billion lunches.

12:30pm-4pm: Cry/ plead/ threaten/ cajole my children through their remaining 6 subjects while breaking up 8 million disagreements between the two youngest and reading 4 thousand stories.

4:30pm: cocktail hour!

5:30pm: Help Little Dear with grammar, find cleats, socks and shinguards for 3 kids and snacks for Little Love. Put dinner on.

5:30-6:45pm: Soccer practices. A.K.A. "Mama therapy time at the playground with other home schooling Mamas."

7pm: Eat dinner. More cocktails!

8pm: Start clipboards for the next day. Wail to DH as he scrubs the kitchen for me.

9pm: Kiss kids goodnight, finish clipboards. Veg in front of mindless television.

But by Thursday?

All of my children finished all 7 of their subjects by noon. I think we're getting the hang of it.

And I may even be able to start doing laundry soon.

:)

It's Official

I am blogging without obligation.

Apparently, I'm also stealing buttons without permission.

This one is from the wonderful Love2Learn mom, who just also happens to be an IRL friend, and won't mind if I do.

I hope.

I also hope that my home school curriculum arrives soon. This "flying by the seat of my pants" home schooling is waaayyy too familiar to me, and the whole reason I signed up for this online home school program in the first place, was to avoid the draft on my derrière...

The children, of course, are loving it.

*sigh*
The best laid plans and all that.

:)

Exhaustion...

... is much sweeter when it is shared. And I don't mean when you go around complaining about it to every person you meet. That is annoying.

No, I mean the kind of exhaustion that occurs because you:
~ Responded to the 4am phone call of a dear friend in need, raced over to her house to keep vigil over her children while she and her husband went to the ER.
~Got to snuggle in the wee hours with your own beloved goddaughter, before you reluctantly put her back to bed.
~Chatted amiably with the oldest child as she deftly changed diapers and helped you get breakfast for her 6 siblings.
~Handed over the reins to the babysitter, all the while praying for a clean bill of health for your dear friend.

And now, the "clean bill" obtained, the dizzying weariness sets in, and the knowledge that at least one other household is in the exact same frame of mind today, is exceedingly comforting.

And since the reason for being bone-tired is not serious, and the honor of having been called upon to render aid in a time of need, is sweeter in knowing this, I can relax and enjoy my day. I am once again "in the trenches," (or "survival mode" as DH and I used to call it after a particularly hard night with one of the littles) and I love the memories it brings to mind, while my heart swells with gratitude that I was able to help one of my beautiful IRL friends.

:)

What to do... the spontaneous version*

~when your computer explodes (not kidding, what a smell! like burning tires...)

~and your husband is off to work in a moment, taking his laptop with him

~and your kids finally seem to be kicking this bug that stuck around for 2 weeks

~and you are so tired of being stuck in the house

~and it's going to be 101 today...

Head to the lake of course!

See ya~

:)

*Um... unless a certain Little Dear wakes up with a fever and a sore throat. Good thing I'm (argh... offer it up, offer it up) flexible, huh?

Guess we'll be staying in...

:(

Gas-Saving Tip #1

Have one of your children come down with a really high fever the day before you are supposed to meet all of your friends at a really awesome water park.

Look out into your garage and realize that it is Thursday, and your car hasn't moved from it's parking spot since Monday... and likely won't be moving for the rest of the week.

That's a savings of at least $40!

Of course, balance that against the amount of G&T's necessary to keep this Mama sane during this bout of extreme cabin fever...

and....

well...

maybe you'll come out even.

:)

Dog Days

It's summertime in Texas, and you know what that means!

We're getting out the board games.

I've written before how backwards our seasons seem to be. Every year, it's still a bit of a shock to feel true 100 degree heat beating through the car windows, wilting my very soul.

We're re-discovering the joys (?!) of Monopoly, Chutes and Ladders, Uno, and Hi-Ho-Cherry-O. We're remembering that there's nothing like a rousing card game of Speed. The "Homeschool Room" has become the playroom for the summer. Clay, paint, scissors, glue and marker projects abound. Gerbil mazes litter the floor, accompanied by many costumes and even a rock band drum set made of pots , pans and an orange Home Depot bucket.

Netflix has never been used so voraciously.

We have become hermits.

And yet, I still need to feel the sun on my face. Yes, even the 100 degree sun. And so we spend a lot of time in water. The pool, the water parks, the lake, the bath tub and the shower. Water has never felt so necessary as it does these days.

To all of my Northern friends, enjoy your summer. Revel in your backyard bbq's, baseball games and picnics. Glory in your bike rides and rollerblading escapades. Us southerners will just sit in our A/C boxes and live vicariously through your pictures and fun times as you plan events that are not even on our radar for at least 3 more months.

And we will wait for our chance at summer.

It's called Autumn.

:)