What can be done..
what needs to be done...
how to pass the day...
make it go by faster....
Children are restless, what are we doing today, Mama? Is a question that rings in my ears... echoing off the empty walls. Empty now for only one reason.
He is gone. On a business trip. On a family trip. The reason is not important, just the absence. And the yawning of the days in front of me... days that must be filled. Filled with purpose and accomplishment.
And maybe? A bit of joy and memories? To report to Him when He comes home to us again? That we did survive, that we did enjoy? That it was okay for him to leave...
Afternoon, and I am in the kitchen, scrubbing away breakfast and lunch dishes. Children are full, resting and reading, and I am alone with my thoughts. Dinner, afternoon activities, and evening time. All are a-jumble and I try to focus on the task at hand. Try to mentally fill the hours of the afternoon, trying to juggle the necessary with the superficial. Do I really need to stop at the store? Can it wait? Who can I leave home? How will it work in the plans for the day?
Dinner time, and His place sits empty. The kids clamor to fill it, but I refuse. Another battle I simply cannot initiate. Who sat in Papa's seat last night? No. Amidst all the other 'battles' and 'turns', this one will not be among them.
Dishes and feet scrubbed, sweet-smelling hair and children tucked in. Doors and windows are locked... front door made extra secure. I follow the children up the stairs and run my own bath. It is my own little secret... to not be downstairs alone at night in the quiet. My oldest, almost a man himself, reads in my bed as I soak in the other room. His presence is comforting somehow.
In a day or so... He will be home. And the rhythm of the house will return, and all will be as it should be. His footsteps coming downstairs in the morning as He heads off to work. His key in the lock when He returns home. I will breathe again, and life will resume.
In the meantime, we will wait, and fill our days.
Note to concerned family and friends... (and especially any people with malicious intent...) this post was written after the fact. DH is safe and sound at home now... :)
3 comments:
My husband has to go on a trip in July the same week that my older boys will be at a camp. That will be rough.
But I don't mind the downstairs when he's not home...I despise the bedroom with its gaping emptiness. So I stay up really late and get no rest.
Ooh. I'm like Michelle. I stay up late...waiting to pass out from being so tired. Otherwise, I hear every noise and spook myself silly.
It must be comforting to have Action Man there, reading. A sense of security.
Glad he is home. Had to chuckle at the malicious comment you made.
I try not to let people know about my husband and his many adventures.
The days sure are different ... and so are those nights.
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