Gianna

Life in a Nutshell
Exactly 2 years ago, I went to my ob/gyn's office for a routine check-up on my in-utero 9 week old angel. As we chatted, Dr. McDonald searched my belly for a heartbeat.

None.

I wasn't too concerned, since this would be the first time I would hear the heartbeat. (outside of the professional sonogram I had done a week earler...which showed everything to be normal) So, we went to the next exam room to check things out on his sono. He looked grim as he said he couldn't see too well, could we do an internal sono? Sure, I said, trying not to panic. He said, "Gee, I hope nothing is wrong..."

His nurse came in and we proceeded with the internal sono. I looked at his face and said, "No?"

He shook his head grimly.

I started sobbing. He turned the monitor towards me and I saw her...

Perfectly formed little one, head, leg and arm buds, and her heart...totally still.

I named her Gianna Francis, not knowing for sure if she was a boy or girl. But knowing the legacy that (now) St. Gianna had left behind. She had to die so another may live. Two months later we conceived Mae, and she is perfect...

I came across this poem during my grieving:

Do you know yet,
Mother mine,
Why I came and why I left?

I came to fill you with Joy,
I left to fill you with emptiness
which only our Jesus can fill.

Where you are,
Mother mine,
grief opens you to seek Him.

Where I am,
there is only joy.
We do not have to seek Him.

And He has prepared a place for you,
Mother mine. Seek Him.
And do not be afraid.
-C. DeVet



I pray today for all mothers who have known the pain of miscarriage.