Our Place of Refuge

I've written about our lake before.  And you all know how much we love to whip out there and spend some time in the sun...

But yesterday,  we had some introductions to make.

But Mom, Little Dude has been to the lake....

What a difference 3 months makes. Now he walks, and explores.
Back then, he nursed and slept.

He had not made a real friendship with our peaceful haven, yet.

But yesterday... he ventured out.  We even took off his shoes and let him feel the water and the mud. (yes, it's Texas... icky mud) He wasn't thrilled, preferring to stay on the pebbly sand.

He watched his siblings as they wound their way along the water's edge.

The lake level was low.  Very low. Nothing like getting back to nature to witness how bad the drought is, firsthand.

The kids examined the newly exposed sand, and what emerges when the layers of water are peeled back. A sobering experience, to be sure. But nature is always beautiful, and they came back jubilant with their treasures.

Fall in Texas is a time of brown colors and long shadows. Even in the height of the afternoon, the light is slanted and the sun has whitened.

This old Mama is learning, though. I'm learning to enjoy the seasons as they come.
I'm learning that we don't pass this way again.

We need to pause. We need to breathe it all in with everything we have.

:)

Daybook: Second Week of School

I can't believe how quickly the time is flying by now. We are just starting our second week of school for all of the kids, even the homeschooled ones. Little Dude is walking, and I'm able to be away from him for a few hours at a time now, if need be. And the weather has finally turned. Finally. More on all of this throughout my daybook. 


Outside my window~

Sunshine. Blue skies. COOL temps. High of only 84 today... yes, only. We went from 100's to 80's in 2 days.  Lows at night in the 60's. Fall is here!!


I am listening to~

My two homeschoolers fighting. Oy. It's snack time, and apparently making the lemonade is sending them over the edge.


I am wearing~

Khaki shorts and long sleeve melon-colored v-neck shirt. Bare feet. Of course.

(on the ferry heading up the Georgia Strait)


I am so grateful for~

Cooler weather. After over 65 days straight of triple digits, the cooler breezes seem miraculous. Indeed, they are. I am SO grateful.


I am pondering~

The balance of homemaking.  Specifically, a home that is kid-friendly, but neat. Our house will never be Pottery-Barn perfect. Our furniture is mostly hand-me-downs... and when I have toddlers running through it hither and yon, I'm glad for that. I can let go of my worry about our things and focus on our company.  However, I also know that children love beauty and order. How to balance both. How to not obsess but be organized. It may seem like a no-brainer, but this is hard for me.


I am reading~

Just finished The Help for book club.  Highly. Recommend.  My goodness, what an amazing read. 
I'm now reading Innocent Blood for book club, and The Children's Homer for the Lit class I teach.


I am thinking~

About my school kids. All day I think about them, checking their schedules, seeing what class they are in, and I pray for them.  They are doing so well at school. I can hardly believe it. 

(excuse the early-morning, Papa-in-a-hurry shot)


I am creating~

New bedrooms. DH and I, side-by-side. Boo and Love's room is finished.  We painted the boys' room yesterday. DH is building lofts. It's slow, but we are making progress. What a crazy time. 


On my iPod~

Lots of painting music.  :)

(view from our bedroom at the beach house... sigh)



Towards a real education~

Our co-op is going really well. Little Dear's classes are more challenging this year, but not overwhelming. It's a good balance. We went on a nature walk this morning. It was glorious. I think we need to do that a bit more this Fall. 


Towards rhythm and beauty~

Less kids at home mean less mess. It's really true. But it also means less hands to help if I need it. Little Dude is so much happier now that he's more mobile. I can get some chores done! And also? I can write more. How I've missed it!

(Little Dude at the beach house)



I am hoping and praying~

For Suzanne, and Charlotte, and many other intentions. 


In the garden~

Need to re-plant. I can't wait until this weekend when I can go and buy fall blooms!!


Around the house~

The smell of paint and wood stain. How fun!

(missing our family in Canada... right Little Boo?)


From the kitchen~

I've been baking. :)  Apple pie and carrot cake, for starters. The promise of fall brings out the domestic side of me.



One of my favorite things~

Yummy kitchen smells. :)




A few plans for the week~

Our calendar is starting to fill up. Soccer practices, Irish step dance, Night out for mom, soccer tournament this weekend, a coffee get-together... it's nice to get back into socializing again!



A picture thought~

(from our trip to the Sunshine Coast, British Columbia, Canada)


:)

Mae These Days

Mae is our Little Love.  Named after my grandmother*, Mae reminds me so much of her. She is funny and charming.  A bit of a spitfire, but with a heart of gold.  She is my first girl to collapse into tears, just really sob, when someone teases her. I am learning to guard her heart fiercely... while trying to teach her not to take herself so seriously.(or... sewiouswy... as she would say)

:P

At the age of 6, Mae-love (see where she gets her blog name?) is oscillating between wanting to be my baby girl and wanting to do all that the older girls are allowed to do.  She gets frustrated by the razor's edge she must continually walk.  And I sometimes wonder if I am not protecting her just a little too much. Maybe she should be able to do more and explore the world around her a little more freely.  But the thought of unseen dangers keeps her close to home.

Maisy Daisy (another nickname... cute, huh?) is such a smarty. And I'll be the first to admit that any one of my children is not very bright.  But this girl picks things up quickly, and remembers them.  She blurts out letter sounds and math facts and placement of States before her big sister can even start to open her mouth. But this awareness has it's downfalls.  Super sensitive, she will bristle and howl when there is even of hint of teasing or ridicule in a sibling's tone.  She picks up on the slightest bit of sarcasm and reacts strongly.  It gets a little trying for this Mama, dealing with all of her battle wounds.

Mae has stepped into the role of big sister with pride.  She hauls Brynach around like a pro, and has become quite territorial.  Between her and Little Boo, I feel like I need to make a sign up sheet and assign hours of the day for their baby care turns.

:P

My Maisy will always have that special place in my heart.  The place that is reserved for "The Baby Girl of the Family."  I never knew such a spot would exist, until this littlest girl came along.  But there is something super special about that last girl.  I can't quite put my finger on it, but every Mama knows.

She's just my Mae.  The sunshine of our family.

:)



*My grandmother passed just last week, on Dec. 27th. May she rest in eternal peace and love.

Sixty Minutes

We are a homeschooling family. That means that I have the privilege of being constantly surrounded by my children 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. (yes, I do mean 24 hours... you should see the nightly bed rotations)

For most of my waking hours (well over 12) I am perpetually engaged. Little Love is being formally homeschooled now. And she takes up the majority of my time during the day. She is a delightful learner, and very diligent. But it is a lesson in heroic patience to calmly spell out every single word she needs to write for her Spelling sentences, to listen as she sounds out the words in her reader, to point out again where Greenland is and that she needs to place the label "just there."

Couple that with Little Boo's exasperation over a History timeline that won't line up, Religion reading that is just above her level, and the never-ending battle of taming her pencil.... along with the challenges of the older three and their ability to either disappear or annoy the hell out of each other on a minute-by-minute basis... and I'm pretty much worn out by 11am.

Enter my brilliant husband.

On the first day of homeschooling, DH was standing in the kitchen at lunch time, listening as I spelled out a word for Little Love, told Sports Fan where the Bible was, and yelled up the stairs at Action Man... all while my shaking hands attempted to make a sandwich to appease my own low-blood sugar level. He commented that he thought I needed a break.

I almost hit him with a knife full of mayo.Me? A veteran homeschool mom needing a break on the very first day??? What am I? A wimp?

But then he explained.... I need a one hour break, every day. Where I am not to be disturbed. So that I can eat lunch, sit down, have a huge glass of water... and just be. With no schoolwork to help with, and most definitely nothing to engage in. In fact, he said, everyone needs that break. No matter where they are at on their schedule, no matter how much they have gotten accomplished... from 11:30 - 12:30 the kids are to get their lunch, eat, and then play. And not bother Mom. Period.

I admit, I was skeptical. But I also saw the need. I am the type of mom (and aren't we all?) who will get everyone's lunch, wipe down the kitchen and do the dishes before I'll sit down myself and eat. I will teach Math in between bites of pb&j, while gulping down leftover cold coffee. In short, I will not take the time to care for myself and I'll end up grumpy and undernourished by the end of the afternoon. Nobody wins.

So, now we get the gift of a break. We all do. The kids make their own lunches (I'll help the younger girls) and then eat and read quietly. I make my own lunch and either eat outside by myself, or with my prayer book. Then, I'll check e-mail or maybe make some phone calls or just sit quietly outside and breathe.

I am at a certain season in my life. Our family is in this season together. The children are close in age, and all self-sufficient. They can all play together.. and often do. There are no toddlers or newborns (yet... very soon, though!) and we (I) have the luxury of an hour of (relative) peace. (no method is perfect of course... we have had some unrest and bickering during our "breaks"... ) And I understand that for many homeschooling moms, this hour of solace in the middle of the day is an unrealistic expectation. But I would encourage those who can... make use of naptimes to enforce a quiet time for your non-nappers. Put out books and puzzles or even put on a little show..... just to be able to disengage... to breathe and clear your mind. To give the schooling ones a chance to recuperate from a morning of intense learning. (It's amazing how a stubborn math problem unravels like magic after an hour of outdoor play.)

You yourself will be a more cheerful, patient mom. And that is a gift every child needs.

:)

Friday Afternoon

A break was needed.

Bickering children and sighing mom, we loaded up the buckets and shovels, the blanket and chairs.

We packed up our shriveled and worn souls.

No music, no laughter. Just a gritting of the teeth determination that this is needed.

No matter if they/I deserve this respite from the messy house and littered life.
No matter if the oldest is about to pitch the fourth through the window (and with good reason, it seems...)
No matter.

Fighting traffic, fighting despair, we make our way to the open.

As the highway signs give way to trees and other life signs, my shoulders relax, my jaw un-clenches. The kids notice the birds: hawks and kites, swaying in the breezes that buildings of suburbia inhibit. The clouds are wisped with a painter's stroke.

Too long, I think. It's been way too long since we've done this.

Since we've escaped.

The weathered woman at the park entrance drawls her southern greeting and I smile. Unused muscles creak, and my tired eyes light up. Asking if we need a map, I shake my head. We have traveled this road... we have traveled these roads many times, too many times.

Yet not enough.

Winding our way to our place of respite, the kids squeal in delight:
















An empty landscape to make their mark.

No paths to follow, no mistakes to undo. Pure, clean and new.

We bring our burdens... we lay them out. And we work. Building and re-building. All of 5 of them work it through. The castles are tipped, the sand is carved. Moats, mortar, sticks and feathers.

Digging, laughing, squealing in the frigid water... wind-whipped hair, they circle around me as I lay on the blanket and soak in the warmth.

My camera dies, and I understand. The present is now, and I must capture within... the view of sand and children and sunshine reflected.

Muddy and spent, we head home... stopping for ice cream and treats.

No, we didn't deserve them. We don't deserve this.

Any of it.

:)

Afternoon Thoughts

A cold front is threatening to the North. An Arctic Blast is what they're calling it, plunging temperatures into the teens.

Trees rattle in fear, their limbs empty… dry and chilled with the winter air.
Walking through the backyard, I notice that even the outdoor chairs and toys huddle close to the house... waiting.

Funny how my shoulders relax in the seeming balmy 45 degree weather.
The sun plays off my crazy house-bound hair, and red abounds.
While, stark in his black and white, our cat rolls on the scratchy brick patio.
I pick at the weeds poking through the seams, eager to remain in the light.

Always, in the warmth, no matter how feeble.

Children bound in and out, wondering for me... puzzled at my position on the step.
As the wind picks up, they scurry inside.

Winter is not for the faint of heart.











:)

A Quiet Christmas

We have had many busy rambunctious Christmases in the past.

There was this one... where we braved the insane blizzards and set out on our first (of many) 12 hour treks to the snowy mountains of Colorado to spend the holidays with my family.

And then the latest one, complete with our move, wherein we were "homeless" for the holidays, and spent weeks at my parents' home (surprised we are still on speaking terms!) caught the stomach flu, and landed on the doorstep of our new home after the New Year.

Last year, we opted to stay put... for two reasons. First, it would be our first Christmas in our new home, and we wanted to take full advantage. Secondly, our kids were tired of never seeing their friends over the break. Family is loads of fun, but when you return just in time for all of your school friends to go back to school... it's a bummer. So, we regaled the holidays in true Nut House style. We decorated every blessed inch of our new digs, had another family over for Christmas dinner, and visited with many of our friends. It was lovely.

This year is an "off" year for the extended family. Y'all know what that means, right? When the married siblings are off at their in-laws for Christmas, since it is "their" turn to see the kids and grandkids. So, much to the dismay of my kids, we will not be traveling this year either. We will be waiting until next year to fill my parents' home to the bursting, in order that all the siblings and grandkids can drive my parents crazy be under one roof again.

It is a bit surreal, in these last days before Christmas, to be wandering outside in short sleeves and jeans, cleaning up the yard, calling to the kids to put their bikes away... sweating in the kitchen with the fans on, and not packing or driving, or planning outings in the snow. We do have plans for a Christmas morning fire in the fireplace... lows in the 20s... brrr!

Our Christmas dinner will be just us. DH is concerned, his eyes searching mine, to make sure I will not melt on Christmas Day, with the lack of busy-ness and bustle. He knows me well. We shall see. (If you get a last-minute invitation, don't be too surprised! LOL) But I have a feeling I will be just fine. We can do our own bustling pretty well.

:)

We chose this life. And I do love it dearly. I love my family and I miss them. I love my friends and am so grateful to be traveling this journey with them.

I feel so very blessed.

Merry Merry Christmas to you all!

Wednesday Lessons

It's another rainy day here. We've had a few days of glorious sun and open skies, but now it is time for the return of the dreary side of Fall.

We've had our share of rain, and after an entire week of being socked in.. fog and misty rain do not belong in a Texan's vocabulary yet here I was all ready to purchase hip rain boots and parade my way to Starbucks like all the PNWer's... we needed more sun. That's my own personal opinion, of course, you can take it with a grain of humidity.
:)

Hauling ourselves out of bed this morning, I groaned as the rain poured down. Today is our "stay home" day of the week. No one has gym class or scouts or any other activity. We annoy the hell out of enjoy each other's company all. day. long.

Lovely. Couldn't. wait.

Yet... here I sit. Dinner is in the crock pot. Sports Fan made pumpkin muffins (supervised) while I popped ingredients into the bread maker and switched it on. The girls are playing "store" in the front living room, Action Man is scheming something with his matchbox cars and Lil Sis is napping upstairs. All this while Martina McBride croons in the background.

It is lovely. I'm so grateful to be shown that, for this moment anyway, rainy days and staying home days can be peaceful and productive. Maybe I won't dread it quite so much the next time around...

Like in a few months.

:P

The Silence Continues....

As I recuperate from an amazing weekend with my parents and most of my siblings in sunny California.

Please keep my sister in your prayers as she prepares to give birth to our godchild... her first little one! Plans for me to jet out to the east coast for the baptism are taking shape. How exciting!


Hope you all continue to have a blessed and holy Lent...

:)

Still Life

My life is anything but still. But here is a frozen-in-time snapshot.


Outside: Sunny and chilly. Well, it's 60. And tomorrow will be 70. But then it's back down to the 50's. I know, poor me.

Inside: Chaos reigns. Day #1 of homeschooling after Thanksgiving break and I feel like the guillotine master. My poor kids. Only 15 days to go until Christmas break!

What I am reading: Supposed to be reading Lying Awake by Mark Saltzman. Need to get my hands on it before my IRL bookclub meeting on the 8th!

What I am planning: A toy swap on Saturday morning here at the Nut House. A bunch of us moms decided that we should benefit from other's surplus and host a quasi-garage sale/give-away with coffee and treats. Shhh. Don't tell Little Boo. I also have a few parties to attend and much gift-buying to accomplish.

What I am craving: This. Every year. Especially the DQ version. And I may or may not be planning my Christmas shopping outing to include a round-about scenic route through the nearest DQ drive thru. DH doesn't get it, but there are those of you out there who do. Let's commiserate.

Projects: Sounds crazy, but I still want to paint the other wall in our front room and re-cover those cushions in the home school room. I know this has nothing to do with Advent or Christmas prep, but it needs to be done, and I need to be disciplined enough to accomplish it. At least I'll feel better knowing I reached a goal.

Towards a healthier me: The piece of pumpkin pie I just inhaled aside, I'm noticing a few lumps where no lumps should be, and the panting as I scale our stairs is not an attractive habit. I am contemplating my upcoming soccer season, and thinking that if I really do not want to totally humiliate myself, I have got to get my rear in gear. So, right now I'm in the thinking stages. With high hopes of lacing up my running shoes soon.

Living the Faith: Advent wreath, check. Advent lapbook? Hmmm. Still on order. Hope it comes soon. This is an area we always need to work on. I am hoping that this Advent we turn a corner.

What's your (not so) still life look like these days?

:)

Thank God for Solidarity.

The day before Thanksgiving, and like all good Mamas, I am sitting in front of the computer.

:)

The list on my fridge is a mile long, and copycats the lists of millions of other Moms in the US today. I take comfort in this knowledge of shared duties.

If I were a film maker, I would pan over the entire country, coast to coast, and show many types of moms, pulling out pumpkin pies and mixing up dough, cleaning their homes, and finally soaking in their tubs after a long day of preparation.

And then for Thanksgiving Day itself, I would show clips of the Macy's parade, the football games, the kids running around with friends and relatives, the dads drinking beer, and the moms sipping wine in their kitchens, basting the turkey and chatting...

And hopefully, the heads bowed in silent reverence, thanking God for the blessings of this year, for the joys and the sorrows, for how it all brings us closer to Him and to each other. The prayers of petition, for our country and our families, to bless us for yet another year, to bless and comfort the poor and the lonely, the forgotten and uncared for. To hold them close this holiday season.

For this one day, may we all turn and acknowledge our God and Creator, recognizing Him from whom all good things come. To bless us with enough joy and pumpkin pie to last all year.

:)

Au Revoir, Summer

A cold front is blasting it's way into Texas today. It's something we all look forward to, having endured triple-digit heat for more days than we care to remember. And when the highs dip down into the 80's, we rejoice... for a time. Until those 80 temperatures get a little old. It is October, we say, shaking our heads. We need some cooler weather already!

And when it arrives, with wind and thunder and cold rain, we break out the sweaters and long sleeve shirts, the sweats and jeans, and we feel renewed and invigorated.

Last night, in the damp heat on the eve of this cold front, I lay drowsily on my daughter's bed, reading her a bedtime story. The story long finished, the fans whirred around me, and I closed my eyes. Suddenly I was whisked back in time to the humid NY summers of long ago.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was born on Long Island. The winters there are bitterly cold and the summer heat is thick and oppressive. We would flock to the beaches and spend entire days near the shore, basking in the sun and the wind, sand burning our feet, swimming against the salty ocean waves.

At night, we would lay in bed, the fans on high, shaking the bedroom floors, as the sweet night air wafted in through the open windows. You could almost feel the humidity give way to the dewy night air, as you lay without blankets or sheets, your sunburned face turned toward the cool breeze.

I remember in particular how hot it would be in the upstairs of my grandparent's house in Levittown. Even though we lived close by, we would still sometimes spend the night after a family get together with my many aunts and uncles and cousins. I would lay on the bedsheets, listening to the laughter and ribbing of my relatives, while the noisy floor fan ushered in the cooler night air. I fell asleep to the sweet smell of summer and the secure feeling of being surrounded by a loving family.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Knowing that this cold front was slowly making it's way south today, I lay still yesterday evening reflecting on these memories, basking in the warmth of the southerly wind and the smell of the sweet summer flowers.

BTW... I love laying on any one of my children's beds and looking at life from their perspective. This is what they will remember, I think. This is their childhood. How different it is from mine. Yet, how very much the same. And what a responsibility I have as a parent, the key role in the formation of these memories they will carry for the rest of their lives.

Good-bye summer. It's been a good one. Filled with many memories, and through it all, the shaping of 5 little childhoods. With many opportunities for love and laughter, learning and growing, and much joy above all.

May our Fall and Winter be just as warm and memorable, with the love of family and friends. And much much joy above all.

:)

What to do... the spontaneous version*

~when your computer explodes (not kidding, what a smell! like burning tires...)

~and your husband is off to work in a moment, taking his laptop with him

~and your kids finally seem to be kicking this bug that stuck around for 2 weeks

~and you are so tired of being stuck in the house

~and it's going to be 101 today...

Head to the lake of course!

See ya~

:)

*Um... unless a certain Little Dear wakes up with a fever and a sore throat. Good thing I'm (argh... offer it up, offer it up) flexible, huh?

Guess we'll be staying in...

:(

Auld Lang Syne

Lately, I've been in the mood to re-connect with old friends. Up until now, I have been quite content to remain in the dark when it came to sharing info with (or about) old high school classmates. I think it was my recent contact with some classmates through Facebook that has prompted this time of reminiscing.

Not many of my high school friends know where I am or that I have a blog. That is really fine with me.

However, when it comes to my friends from college? They know.

And they read.

How do I know? I hear things, I have a hidden statcounter, and therefore (Q.E.D.) I know.

One of the unforeseen disadvantages of having a blog is that while I, as blogger, am keeping everyone I know (and even some that I don't know) abreast of the latest developments in my own life.... I have NO IDEA what is going on in the lives of my many long distance friends and relations.

On my profile page is my E-MAIL ADDRESS.

(you know who you are....) USE IT.

Tell me what is going on in your own life!

Because I care, and I miss those days of old.

:)

Savoring...

... as opposed to tearing through this:













It is an amazing story. And it makes me want to read all the historical documents concerning the Alger Hiss trial and the full extent of the infiltration of the Communists in the U.S. Government.

There are a ton of resources out there. And I hope I have the time to delve and probe....

But for now, I have 800 pages of Whittaker Chambers' story to enjoy. I love my IRL book club!

:)