When Approaching This Child... A Repost

from the archives...



Looking back at the change that has taken place in me these past 14 years, the transformation from a know-it-all college grad into a full-fledged mother... I am astounded.

Astounded that God has taken a self- absorbed, self-seeking individual and achieved a metamorphosis that seemed at one time to be impossible.

When DH and I were first married, it seemed a natural result of the love we had for each other, to extend it to a third party. Within our first month of marriage, we acquired a cat.

:)

To our defense, we were eager to have children, but God's timing was to postpone that event. Of course, He truly knew best. We conceived Action Man at the end of my first year teaching, and gave birth to him during my second year. I squeaked through that year, bringing him to school with me, directing the play, and just barely surviving the insanity of it all. DH graduated with his MBA, and I never worked outside of the home again.

My work took what I thought to be an alarming turn. You'd think that being the oldest of 6, I would have some sort of an inkling of what I was getting myself into.

Nope. I was pretty clueless. (remember how self-centered I said I was?? yeah. God had his work cut out for Him.)

And so, when Action Man reared his screaming head, I was stunned. I was even more flabbergasted when I realized that this screaming thing was here to stay. God had seen fit to bless my first born with a severe case of colic. Unable to nurse, spending gobs of money on formula, working my tail off while recovering from an emergency c-section, I was a wreck.

In short, God threw me to my knees.

Which is where He wanted me all along.

In blessing me with such a needy child, and then 2 more births in quick succession, God was going cold turkey on me in the selfishness cure. No "miracle patch" for me. No siree. I suddenly found myself surrounded by irrationality with no time to read, write or pee. My only vivid memory of that time was the three of them: Action Man, Sports Fan and Little Dear (ages almost 3, 1, and 2 months respectively) lined up on my bed, ready for their diaper change. Yes, three in diapers at once. It's quite a war story.

It's also a love story.

God was pursuing me. He sought to change me, to mold me into something better, a more productive worker for the harvest of souls. He knew that the only way he could force me outside of myself was to place a loved one in my care. And just for insurance, to place many little loved ones in my care. He knew that a mother cannot ignore the needs of her child. That the midnight wail, the hourly call to duty would not fail to re-mold a heart hardened by selfishness. That the first bend to another happens automatically in the will of a new mother. An eagerness to serve, to soothe the cries and nourish the heart, soul, and stomach of this precious child comes first without a second thought.

Until, overnight it seems, this clueless 20-something woman is transformed.

It is no wonder, then, that the awesomeness of God comes to us in the tender form of the infant Jesus. Who can deny Him his due? Who can turn away from His cries? Who can refuse Him?

“There is nothing more mysterious than infancy, nothing so small and yet so imperious. The infancy of Christ has opened a way to us by which we can surrender self to Him absolutely, without putting too much pressure on our weak human nature.”

(Wood of the Cradle, Wood of the Cross)

God, in His all-knowing, all-merciful way, chooses to come to us humbled and makes it easy for us to submit. He coaxes us to bend our ways ever so gently towards His will by having us first gaze into the eyes of the Christ-Child. We forget ourselves and all of our grandiose plans, and instead look for ways to please this most precious infant, even to the point of radically re-shaping our entire lives.

:)

Daybook: Updating

I'm not going to apologize for the silence. I've learned in the past that silence can be golden. Especially internet silence.  Especially when you can revisit your original reasons for blogging and re-prioritize a bit. But most especially for a reason like this one:

Little Dude has been keeping me busy, of course.  But more on him throughout the course of this Daybook.....


Outside my window~
Sun.  Blue skies and sun.  We went to the park today, and I got 2 hours of in-your-face sun time.  It felt glorious, and even Little Dude's cheeks are a tad bit pink.

I am listening to~
My girls play nintendo and my boys play poker with a friend.  The hours of outside fun this morning has made them content to sit and relax this afternoon.  It's Spring Break. We all feel content.

I am wearing~
My comfy (and very well-loved) jeans, t-shirt and crocs.  Hair in a messy bun.  I've promised myself that I will actually style my hair tomorrow.  I think.  :P

I am so grateful for~
Friends who organize park outings.  I never would have gone, never would have organized it... just would have feebly attempted laundry or writing while refereeing fights and putting off endless requests for playdates.  It was a lovely, refreshing change.

I'm pondering~
Schedules.  More on that in a bit.

I'm reading~
The Roots of Obama's Rage by Dinesh D'Souza.  My pick for bookclub next week.Very interesting.

I am thinking~
That Little Dude needs to get in some semblance of a groove any day now.  He is the king of the castle, and I never can plan anything!  Lol.


I am creating~
A new Nut House normal.  Our sports schedule this season requires that we be away from home at dinnertime 4 out of the 5 weeknights. So, we'll be eating dinner at 4:30 on those nights.  DH and I have it coordinated so we know who needs to be where, and when.  On the nights he works late, I'll be flying solo, but it's doable.  Texting one evening with a long-distance kindred spirit while waiting at Sports Fan's practice, I decided.... no complaining.  We chose this. 3 kids on 4 teams. 2 girls in dance. It's crazy, but we homeschool after all.  We are together all day, every day.  We can eat earlier.  We can regroup after practice and showers and pray the rosary.  If there is any time in our lives this can work, it's now.

On my iPod~
Nothing new, except maybe more old radio shows for Action Man.  Tales of the Texas Rangers, anyone?

Towards a real education~
Oh dear. 'Tis that discerning time of year again.  We've always said that we take homeschooling one year at s time.  We mean that literally.  Oy, this time of year is always hard.  :)

Towards rhythm and beauty~
Trying out the new schedule this week.  Still recuperating from my solo weekend... still grateful for energetic sisters who swoop in and whisk children off to games in the freezing windy conditions.  Still trying to re-vamp chore charts....  Still a work in progress.

To live the liturgy~
Lent snuck up on me this year, I admit.  I found our good deeds jar, got some dried beans, chatted with the kids about our sacrifices and hauled them off to mass on Wednesday.  But more needs to be done.  The boys had a friend over yesterday who told them that he was giving up TV for Lent.  The boys' jaw hit the floor as Action Man said, "Dude, that's hard!"  And the friend looked at them and said, "Yeah.  Isn't that the point?"

I am hoping and praying~
For our schooling decisions, and for many many other intentions that have come to my attention this week.  So much heartbreak and sadness out there.  Keeps my worries in perspective.

In the garden~
Tomato plants go in this weekend.  My red pansies out front look glorious... and looks like spring is here for good!

Around the house~
Chaos.  We emptied out the girls' rooms thinking that we would be hosting our friends from Wisconsin for the week.  They got the flu, however, and turned around before they even got to us.  Very sad. And the toys are everywhere.  This weekend will necessitate a huge clean up.

From the kitchen~
Lenten meals, coupled with soccer practice means quesadillas on the go.  :P  The kids have homeschool gym class at a park this afternoon, minutes away from Sports Fan's practice. So tempting to pack a picnic and stay... we'll see.

One of my favorite things~
Little Dude's ears.

:P

MIA

That's me.  The completely uncommitted blogger.  Not that anyone's noticed, of course.  Oh, wait.  Lil Sis said something to me the other day about getting tired of opening my blog and seeing "Gemma These Days" all the time...  and I did get a lovely Facebook note from this wonderful gal.  (We met through blogging and she knows my younger sisters...hence the FB friendship)  So nice to know that someone misses me!

LOL

It's been a whirlwind of a time over here, folks.  I don't blame anyone for not noticing... in fact, I hardly have time to notice myself.  And judging by the way I look these days, it's high time someone took notice.  Good heavens.

;P

Ok, so on to updates.

My biggest excuse for my lack of communication these days I can blame completely on the smallest member of the Nut House... Little Dude.  Just as he was starting to pull out of his unsleepy-neediness, he went and contracted RSV.  And then, just for kicks, decided to wake up Valentine's Day morning unable to breathe very well.  Nothing says I love you like a frantic trip to the ER with the man you pledged to spend the rest of your life with and sohelpmeifwegetintoanaccidentIwillkillyou... love and cherish forever.
Yes, it was scary.  No, Little Dude did not require any interventions once we got there, thank goodness.  By the time we saw the ER doc, he was smiling and cooing up a storm.  But DH and I?  We acquired a ton of gray hair.  And I don't think my complexion has returned to normal yet.

So, Little Dude and I have been getting to know the wonders of nasal spray, aspirators, and nebulizers.  3 months old seems a little young for this knowledge in my humble opinion, but with this blasted weather and the pollen count skyrocketing, it's necessary... Besides, I'm not up for any more romantic ER trips any time soon.

:P

On a completely different note... I've been gainfully re-employed to spin my tiny tales of fiction for a state testing website.  It's so much fun, but also pretty stressful, to try to make happy tales at the 11th grade level under 525 words and ask questions regarding hyperbole and theme.  No sarcasm allowed, no religion either.  So I'll have to use the blog as therapy.  (Who doesn't, I'd like to know?)


Little Boo started her insane soccer schedule this week.  3 evenings of practice, games on Sundays, soon to be Saturday's too.  I'm happy to report that she is like a brick wall on defense and totally made her mark at her very first game.  Since playing club soccer is much more competitive, I fully expected her to sit out at least part of the game, but no... her new coaches are just as appreciative of her skill at this level.  And I am hopelessly proud.  I couldn't go to her first game, so I shared my feeling of being tortured by texting DH every other second asking how she was doing.

ACTUAL TEXT:
Me: Is she still on?  And playing well?
DH: Yes and yes
Me: You are a plethora of information. Maybe you could do a play by play for me?
DH: Be still woman.  It's so sunny I can barely see my phone.

Aren't you glad you're not married to me?

So, we are plugging away over here.  Little Dude is on the mend.  My foray into the world of fiction has been a nice distraction, and I am unabashedly living vicariously through my 8 year old.  :)

What have y'all been up to?
:)

The Craziness of our Days

I want to remember this time... this blessed time when my entire life is ruled by a little man who is not yet two feet tall.  Who cannot even hold his own head up, and spits up constantly.  Who cuddles and snugs and makes the funniest faces when trying to wake up... and who is the center of our universe these days.


We are in survival mode here in the Nut House.  Those of you with little ones right now know (and are living out!) exactly what I mean.  Other Mamas of littles now grown will nod in remembrance.  It is a crazy time.  But a blessed time of crystal clear priorities...

~The baby is screaming, he must be picked up/changed/fed/held/rocked.

The dishes can wait.

~The children need some family time.  Some games/movies/mom-and-dad/special time....

The laundry can wait to be folded.  Need something? Look in the clean basket.

~Mama needs a shower today.  No, really, it has become a priority.  ;)

The vacuuming will be done later.  Please hold Little Dude, and pass him to another older sibling if he fusses.

~Nap time! Which equals tv time!

Yes, I know the children have been watching all morning.  One more hour this afternoon won't rot their brains too much.  I just need them in one place so I can rest and not worry.



And so it goes.  Our housecleaning is haphazard at best.  DH is trying not to do absolutely everything.  He is such a do-er though.  And the kids are being rallied to constantly step up more and more to help him out.  Sat night their reward was a trip to the movies, how DH managed to stay awake after running errands all day is beyond me.

I stayed home and snuggled with Little Dude.  Because that is all I can manage to do these days.

That is my A- #1 Top Priority.

And I'm going to treasure it for as long as I can....

:)

Having A Child Is A Selfish Act

When I read those words, my jaw hit the floor.

Seriously?

Some infamous "Anonymous" commenter at a popular blog was putting forth this statement as an argument against those who say that childlessness = selfishness.  Because, you know, the most effective way to argue a point is to turn around and say, "nuh-uh, YOU ARE!"

:P

Seriously.

DH and I have made some pretty selfish decisions in our time, but none of them, believe me, have to do with our decision to remain open to life.  If someone had been at our house the morning I held my 3 month old son, crying and staring in disbelief at the two pink lines that announced the existence of Little Dear, and told me that I was selfish, I would have grabbed the nearest butcher knife and gone on a rampage.  Never mind that my hormones were out of whack, and my almost two year old son was as yet not potty trained... it was a stretching and testing of my Faith and Trust in God and the Wisdom of Holy Mother Church.  Let me tell you, if I ever had a crisis of Faith in my life, it was right there on the bathroom floor that fateful November morning.

As the years have gone by, and my rough edges smoothed over by time and experience, I thank God and His Church for the Wisdom and Grace that have been poured down through the ages.

You see, if it had been up to me, Little Dear would never have been conceived.

Overwhelmed with two failed attempts at nursing, a high maintenance toddler and high needs newborn, I was at my limit.  How in the world could I have ever thought I'd be ready for another child?  Did I really think that having another baby would be the most fulfilling event that could happen to me?  That I would finally be satisfied?  Was it selfish of me to accept Little Dear into our already chaotic home?  Was it really an act of selfishness when I bowed my will to His and accepted this...*gulp* ... gift? 

I have grown and been stretched in so many ways... well beyond the stretch marks that have marked my many pregnancies.  I'm not perfect. No, not by a long shot.  But my selfishness has taken a direct, fatal, hit. No more do I assume that when I want something to happen, it will.  No more do I rage against the inconvenience of sick children, husband, or self. 

Something has happened to my heart along the way as well.  It has been opened to be more accepting, more loving, more tolerant.  I have seen both sides of the coin.  Infertility and child-bearing both.  Being overwhelmed, confused, sad, and joyful.  Sometimes all at once.

Parenthood is a vocation, a lifelong commitment. Not to be taken lightly, but also not to be thrown to the side as a disposable option.  Those who suffer from infertility can tell you, with much pain, what you are throwing away.  And those who live the chaotic life of a mom of many can also articulate what even they could never have imagined in their wildest dreams.

That in saying "yes" to this life, you became a part of something much bigger than just the mere "wants" or perceived "needs"you once had.  You became a part of the gift of creation.  And it's not about you anymore.  What you have helped to bring into existence is another being, another person, wholly separate and distinct from your own self.  There simply is no room for selfishness now.  It is not even a factor.  It cannot be.  You throw your whole self into the raising of this child.  But why?  For your own fulfillment?  Really?  How many nighttime wakings would you be willing to endure to bring about this supposed self-fulfillment?  How many vomit clean ups or messy diapers? How many never-ending cries for "mama"? How many countless interruptions? How many how many how many?

No.

This is all about Love now.  The wonderment and anxiety and heartbreak of unconditional love.  It is this love that propels a parent through the many joys and heartbreaks of raising a child.  It is the reason behind the many things we do.  The nighttime wakings, the feedings, the baseball games, the heartfelt conversations. It is because we love the other so very much more than we love ourselves, that we do these things. 

And what a tremendous gift, to be able to experience what it is like... to love like God.

Recuperating

Is this thing on????
:P

What a whirlwind trip.

Yes, we are home. Have been for quite a few days.

And boy, what a crazy few days it has been!

Our time in California was wonderful. Really and truly, a beautiful vacation.

A picture perfect shot, no?
:)

Even though the water was quite frigid!!

Of course, Little Boo was the first to fall in.  When asked what happened she responded...
Kinda weird.  The water pulls the sand out from under your feet!

And she huffed away indignantly.
How dare that ocean.  Really, how rude.
:P

We went to a beautiful graduation at my breath-taking Alma Mater.

That's my godson Sports Fan is holding... quite the cutie!

After graduation we crashed at the beach house and entertained approximately 80 billion people.

No, not really.  But with our group it sure felt like it!
:P
So, we did a lot of this...

And this...

(my other cutie-pie nephew!)

And we enjoyed smelling these...

And we painted these...

I call these Beach Toes.
:)

After we tired of the beach (or, actually, had to leave our seaside paradise) we headed here:

Where we spent almost 12 hours riding awesome rides and seeing fun shows and just soaking in all that we could for our last day of vacation.

In between, we stayed with friends from college, and had a blast catching up on 7 years' worth of events and experiences (we graduated almost 15 years ago... but had seen them a few times since) and noting at every turn that our philosophies of life were in agreement.... while the kids ran around and played non-stop.
It's just so awesome to touch base.

Our ride home was long.  Laboriously long.

But, we made it.  And we have a huge book of memories to go along with our adventure.  Eventually, I'll get it all together, but for now it's here and elsewhere on the computer. 

But most especially, in the re-tellings of my kiddos. 

Which makes it all totally worth it.

:)

Little Miracles

As I stumble throughout my days, counting down to the magic "12 week" mark when I can finally eat... and breathe... and enjoy my expanding belly...

I have to admit I haven't been the happiest of campers.

I am so thrilled that this new life is growing inside me... it's just that the physical side effects have left me weakened.  I don't do "weak" well.

Who does?

So, yes, I have been discouraged.  And dismayed.  And disgusted.  Crawling uphill, with no respite in sight.  Tons to do and no energy.  Dragging through my days and not feeling God's push.  Praying, and then forgetting my prayer.

Until today. God showed me today how much He loves me, by allowing other people to love me.

~Today, a wonderful friend of Lil Sis' came over.  She needed pictures of the kids for a class project, and wanted to take care of them for awhile so I could rest.  She came bearing cupcakes.  The kids were ecstatic.  Just as I was about to retire, she pulled out a bag... a huge bag... of brand new, customized crocs.  One pair for each of us.  I couldn't believe my eyes. She works at one of their stores and gets a discount.  She accessorized each pair according to the kids' personalities. They are so awesome. The kids haven't taken them off.

~Also today,  after enduring enjoying 3 hockey games compliments of my boys, I came home to a miraculous e-mail. You see, the awesome camp my kids attend every year is having registration this week.  It's hierarchical.  And since we do not belong to the parish, or the school, I really have to be on track with getting our forms in pronto.  Well, being sick and scatter-brained... I totally dropped the ball.  I sent an e-mail to the guy in charge, asking if there was any room left at all.  His response?  Can't have a camp without the Nutty Family.  Attached are the forms.  Get them to me ASAP.

 Tiny, small miracles.  But how they have boosted my spirits today!  When I e-mailed the head of the camp, exclaiming my gratitude and telling him how we all thought it a miracle, he summed it up perfectly:

Our God is a God of miracles.
I hope the children learn to expect them with a total sold-out faith.

Amen. (And maybe the Mama can begin to learn that, too...)

:)

This Present Joy

While we all pray that it is not fleeting,(please join us!) I am glorying in the present moment.

~every twinge of nausea
~every ache and pull
~the thickening of my middle
~the craving of homemade bread, toasted with butter
~the extreme fatigue at the end of the day
~the tears of joy and wonder...

:)


*Of course I took two tests! I'd have taken 10 if I had 'em! After 6 years, wouldn't you? :P

A Quiet Christmas

We have had many busy rambunctious Christmases in the past.

There was this one... where we braved the insane blizzards and set out on our first (of many) 12 hour treks to the snowy mountains of Colorado to spend the holidays with my family.

And then the latest one, complete with our move, wherein we were "homeless" for the holidays, and spent weeks at my parents' home (surprised we are still on speaking terms!) caught the stomach flu, and landed on the doorstep of our new home after the New Year.

Last year, we opted to stay put... for two reasons. First, it would be our first Christmas in our new home, and we wanted to take full advantage. Secondly, our kids were tired of never seeing their friends over the break. Family is loads of fun, but when you return just in time for all of your school friends to go back to school... it's a bummer. So, we regaled the holidays in true Nut House style. We decorated every blessed inch of our new digs, had another family over for Christmas dinner, and visited with many of our friends. It was lovely.

This year is an "off" year for the extended family. Y'all know what that means, right? When the married siblings are off at their in-laws for Christmas, since it is "their" turn to see the kids and grandkids. So, much to the dismay of my kids, we will not be traveling this year either. We will be waiting until next year to fill my parents' home to the bursting, in order that all the siblings and grandkids can drive my parents crazy be under one roof again.

It is a bit surreal, in these last days before Christmas, to be wandering outside in short sleeves and jeans, cleaning up the yard, calling to the kids to put their bikes away... sweating in the kitchen with the fans on, and not packing or driving, or planning outings in the snow. We do have plans for a Christmas morning fire in the fireplace... lows in the 20s... brrr!

Our Christmas dinner will be just us. DH is concerned, his eyes searching mine, to make sure I will not melt on Christmas Day, with the lack of busy-ness and bustle. He knows me well. We shall see. (If you get a last-minute invitation, don't be too surprised! LOL) But I have a feeling I will be just fine. We can do our own bustling pretty well.

:)

We chose this life. And I do love it dearly. I love my family and I miss them. I love my friends and am so grateful to be traveling this journey with them.

I feel so very blessed.

Merry Merry Christmas to you all!

Christmas Color

A repost from 3 years ago... enjoy!

My color choice for Christmas lights is white. Pure and holy white. It all started with my mom, and her penchant for the beautiful.

My mom has a very artistic eye for decorating. I like to think that while I may not have much in the way of monetary resources, I have inherited part of her artistic flair, and am able to pull off an acceptable decor.

I remember how she decorated the outside of our home for Christmas, every year. A solitary (electric) white candle in every front and side window, and a spotlight shining on the wreath on our front door. I remember how that looked as my dad and I drove up the 500 foot driveway after a trying day of high school/junior high (he, as teacher... me, as student).

It was like seeing heaven.

I knew that once we got inside, the house would be bursting with sound and smell and the hustle and bustle of trying to get 3 other children (which became 4, then 5) ready for dinner. And as the oldest, (and 7 years older than #2) I had no small part to play. All the cares of the day simply had to be left at the door...

Now that warm, inviting feeling of pure white lights encircling and enveloping a home is something I like to re-create for my own house. And I, just like my mom, wrinkle my nose at over-done, over-colored outdoor Christmas displays... and DH laughs at me in much the same way my dad puzzled over my mother's adamant opinions. But our men wisely know their place in these matters, and dutifully hang the white lights, and the wreaths, positioning the spotlights just so. And praise and compliment the effects.

To those of you who prefer the multi-colored hoopla... more power to ya'. Finally, I think it's what one grows up with. Like myself, I think my mother may have preferred the simplicity and serenity of white because life with 6 children (or 5, in my case) under one roof is hardly ever, if ever, simple or serene.

The "colorful chaos" of our lives exists in and around these many children and distinct personalities.

It's all the color I can handle.

















:)

Our Fridays

Rain patters on the shed roof outside our second story window. I groan and roll over. Little Love was placed back in her bed an hour ago, and the house is still.

Moments later, a little voice is at my ear. Time to get up, Mama. I push my head up and encounter the eager eyes of Little Boo. The one who begged for the day off from school so she could "sleep in"... now waking me up at the exact time I usually get her up for school. I whisper that she should go rest in bed for awhile.

We drift back to sleep and awake an hour later.

Such is the beginning of Fridays at the Nut House.

Today is the day where school is light. We get the basics done and then grab an early lunch and head out to noon mass. After mass, we go to the cappuccino bar with some other families and get drinks while the kids run around the University lawn. It's a lovely end to our week, and something my kids look forward to eagerly.

The little girls are not signed up for the 5th day of school each week, they normally go Mon-Thurs, but lately have wanted to spend this extra day with their teacher, when the younger 3 & 4 year olds are not there. This week, though, has been a bit much for my Little Boo. She needs a break. And we are happy to accommodate. Especially if it means an extra hour of sleep.

:)

This rainy Friday our rhythm will be a bit slower. Rain tends to inspire ponderous thoughts and grand intentions... all beneath a warm blanket and mug of coffee. I hope to get some more cleaning and organizing accomplished. We are in desperate need of some household essentials, (remember: nothing says "I Love You" like plenty of toilet paper!) and I do believe that tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches are in order for dinner. Everyone needs showers, and the boys need hair cuts before the holiday.

But... we may have to wait until tomorrow for some of these tasks.

Today I will be content to have us all under one roof, busy in our own lives... together.


:)

Thankful Thursday Thoughts

Playing along with Barbara today, this gorgeous sun-and-cornflower-blue-sky day!

I'm thankful for:

~THE SUN. Yes, I know, but really. Our back fence was getting moldy. Moldy! But this past week has been absolutely gorgeous. Deep blue sky, warming sun. I spend the afternoons schooling on the back patio. Everything burns orange.

~Good true friends. A bit of disillusionment going on over here. I am just so grateful for those people who listen to understand, not condemn. Think about that for a moment. It's invaluable wisdom to ponder, especially for us bloggers. Take that into the real world, and you've got yourself a mission for life.

~ My family, near and far. Connectedness keeps a person grounded. Even something as simple as watching the Yankees win the World Series... I knew my entire extended family would be watching (and I imagine some of them were in the stands at Yankee Stadium) I could almost hear my Uncle Frank: "Geez, Pettitte! Can you believe that? I'm tellin' ya, 'Meg." lol
We need family. It shapes our world.

~Busy fall days. Every week during this month we have an "event" hosted here at the Nut House. I love it. It keeps me accountable, it keeps my house clean, it keeps me busy. Not to mention it always involves bringing loved ones together.
















Here we are at the very soggy State Fair of Texas last month.


:)

Happy Hallowe'en!

... a day late.

But here are the pictures, so you'll forgive me, right mom?

:)




















Little Boo decided to go as the Grinch... surprised?

















Little Love was Snow White... after deciding not to be one of Santa's elves. Are my kids anxious for Christmas?

















Here are the rest of the masses. Action Man was Aragorn, Sports Fan was a Hobbit, and Little Dear was Padme.


We had some family friends over to enjoy homemade pizza (6! different! kinds!) and good ol' fashioned neighborhood Trick-or-Treating.

Afterwards, to burn off energy, the kids set up their own disco/mosh pit (complete with circulating glow sticks and colored flashlights) in our homeschool room and rocked out to BNL.

The adults took refuge behind glasses of red wine.

All I can say is... thank goodness for sugar-crashes and daylight standard time.

:)

Have a glorious Feast of All Saints!

Wednesday Lessons

It's another rainy day here. We've had a few days of glorious sun and open skies, but now it is time for the return of the dreary side of Fall.

We've had our share of rain, and after an entire week of being socked in.. fog and misty rain do not belong in a Texan's vocabulary yet here I was all ready to purchase hip rain boots and parade my way to Starbucks like all the PNWer's... we needed more sun. That's my own personal opinion, of course, you can take it with a grain of humidity.
:)

Hauling ourselves out of bed this morning, I groaned as the rain poured down. Today is our "stay home" day of the week. No one has gym class or scouts or any other activity. We annoy the hell out of enjoy each other's company all. day. long.

Lovely. Couldn't. wait.

Yet... here I sit. Dinner is in the crock pot. Sports Fan made pumpkin muffins (supervised) while I popped ingredients into the bread maker and switched it on. The girls are playing "store" in the front living room, Action Man is scheming something with his matchbox cars and Lil Sis is napping upstairs. All this while Martina McBride croons in the background.

It is lovely. I'm so grateful to be shown that, for this moment anyway, rainy days and staying home days can be peaceful and productive. Maybe I won't dread it quite so much the next time around...

Like in a few months.

:P

One Last Thought...

... on the post below.

If a parent is neglecting their child then the state has to step in, right? Some of those abuse cases are downright horrific. In fact, there are probably many more children that should be helped and slip through the cracks.

Having been enlightened via e-mail about this particular disease and case, my perspective has changed. The state is trying to save this boy's life. Since this disease has no leeway, either you nip it in the bud or you die, it is a race against time. And the fact that the state is so concerned about the life of a child gives me hope. Either way, in this case, it seems that they might be justified in stepping in.

And that is a comforting thought. Comforting to know that maybe they are not looking for new reasons to rip our children from our arms. Taking this on a case by case basis, and not as a sweeping universal cry of alarm, we have to admit that there are and will be times when it is necessary to protect a child from his caregivers.

Notice I am hesitant to step up on a soapbox and publicly condemn these parents. I truly believe they have good will and love for their son. I would never say otherwise. I do not know them and cannot judge their intentions to be malicious.

I just pray that they get him the help he desperately needs before it is too late.

From The News

Comes this.

Of course the article is going to make the parents out to be whacko-religious idiots. I mean, really. Who would refuse radiation and chemotherapy for a disease that is considered "highly curable" with those methods? Who would set their own child at risk of death?

No one would. Of course.

So what about this family?

Let me tell you something. We don't know the whole story. I don't care who screams at me from the comments, save your breath. We don't know the whole story.

My Mom is a firm believer in holistic herbal medicines and has already instructed us that if she ever got cancer, there is no way she'd treat it with all that radiation. No judgments intended here, that's just what she would prefer. This mom and son feel the same way.

I am sorry that they are using the Catholic Church as a scapegoat. The Church is not against the practice of modern medicine. Yet it does support the primacy of the family in these matters, asking society to do the same.

I wish they and the courts could have reached a more reasonable compromise. Maybe give the family some time to see if the herbal remedies work?

In the meantime, they are on the run. And that is problematic. In a way, it hurts all of us, and makes us all suspect.

Let me impress upon you how close to home this could be.

My son is 11. He has "learning disabilities." If he were to become ill with cancer, and my Mom had anything to say about it, ~I take my Mom's advice seriously! :) ~we could be seeking alternative remedies.

And we would be in big trouble with the government.

I'm praying for this family right now. Praying for peace and discernment. It's all I can do. My heart is troubled by their decision, to be sure. But I am also troubled by how quickly the government is willing to take over, rather than assist. It is becoming too common a trend.

It Takes a Village

I've been reading this book for the past few months. DH picked it up on a recommendation from someone else, and we've been tag-teaming back and forth with it, discussing the different chapters we completed.

To say I love it is an understatement. There are some interesting lessons in here about discipline and communication, great pointers on how to re-claim (collect was the word they used) your kids if you feel that they have been lost to their peers.

But the part I am completely digging right now is Chp. 18: Re-Create the Attachment Village.

This chapter is mainly for those families where both parents must work, (or single-parent families), outlining how vital it is for these kids to form attachments to the adults who must care for them outside of their own home, instead of to the other peers. However, it is also an important concept for those of us who do not have extended family close by. Or if, as unfortunately often happens, your extended family would not be a good influence on your children:

Many adults now in their 40s or beyond recall childhoods in which the village of attachments was a reality. Neighbors knew one another and would visit one another's home. The parents of friends would act as surrogate parents to other children. Children played in the streets under the gaze of friendly, protective adults.

For many of us, that attachment village no longer exists. The social and economic underpinnings that used to support traditional cultures have vanished. Gone are the cohesive communities, where extended families lived in close proximity, where children grew up with mentoring adults who did their work close to home, where cultural activities brought together generations.

Only in the context of an attachment village can we create "homes" for children in the truest sense. What makes a village a village is the connections among the people. Connections also make the home, whether they be to the home itself or to the people in it. We truly feel "at home" only with the people we are attached to. In traditional attachment communities a child never had to leave home - he was at home wherever he went. (emphasis mine)

This is exactly what I have been trying to do with and for my kids from the very beginning. I had no idea about any of the philosophy behind it, but I wanted my children to feel "at home" wherever we went, and I would go out of my way to plan play dates at people's homes, and invite potential baby sitters over for the afternoon, and really foster friendships with those families whom we all felt drawn to.

The neighborhood in which we now live is shaping up to be just that kind of "village," from our friends across the street who let our kids into their backyard when their girls get home from school (and we'll chat over some wine as they play) to the old lady (Miz Ann) at the other end who assured me that she loves to watch my kids play out front and not to worry, since she's always keeping an eye on them.

And while there are only two families on our street in which I feel comfortable letting my kids go inside their house, it is still a far cry from how most neighborhoods are. And that really is a shame.

We need to value our adult friends who take an interest in our children.

The way we socialize needs to change. Socializing also tends to be peer-oriented in North America, splitting along generational lines. To create villages of attachment, our socializing would need to cultivate hierarchical connections. During our stay in Provence, we saw that socializing almost always included the children. The adults took the lead in "collecting" the children. This kind of family socializing took us by surprise at first, but it made perfect sense from an attachment perspective. The greater the number of caring adults in a child's life, the more immune he or she will be to peer orientation. (emphasis mine)

I have already experienced this with my own kids. Case in point. Friday night, I hosted a group of wonderful ladies at my home for our monthly Bunco get together. (Highly recommend this! Loads! of! fun!) When the first Mom arrived, my three girls went running out to her car, gave her big hugs, and talked her ear off for about 10 minutes straight. She is one of the most kid-friendly Moms I know, and gave them her full, undivided attention (as best she could, since they were all talking at once...) responding with enthusiasm at all of their little stories of conquests and loose teeth and whatever else they were regaling her with. All of my close friends are like this with my kids. (and it is no mere coincidence that they are therefore, "close" friends) They take a genuine interest in my children's thoughts and activities, and engage them in meaningful conversations on whatever topic is at hand. As a result, my children have many "homes" in our little town. Many safe havens where they can go if I need someone to care for them.

And as my kids get older, and need another perspective on life or love or why Mom is making me dump the dishwasher?

I have a whole village they can consult.


:)

Hockey Moms ARE Pit Bulls!

I am living proof.

My boys had a game this morning. The first of two, playing on a team of misfits, against boys who have been playing together for years.

And they were doing very well... even ahead at one point.

Sports Fan was in goal. He is probably the smallest and scrawniest child on the team, but also one of the best. Why his coach wants him to wear 20 tons of equipment and flop around in front of the net is beyond me, but there he was, flopping like a pro.

Then it happened. Not once, not twice, but three and four times... my awesome goalie-son had his glove hand covering the ball, and some belligerent 10year old is whacking Sports Fan's glove with his stick. The first few times, our bleacher section was encouraging Sports Fan to hang tough.

The fourth time? (As Action Man started pushing the brat away from his brother...)

I was on my feet.

"Hey, Ref! Get that #1 OUTTA THERE!"

Mortified, I promptly sat back down. Did I just yell at the Referee? Luckily, all the other rabid hockey moms took up my war cry and demanded that the kid be benched. He wasn't... and he scored on Sports Fan, but then was totally robbed a few plays later as my little man flattened him on a break-away.

~insert evil cackle here~

I am Nutmeg. A rabid Hockey Mom.

And I wear Lipstick.

:)

April's Shower of Photos: Day 8

While I may not be posting one of these every day, I've decided on a theme of Family Fun. This blog was started for family members. And since all of our extended family lives elsewhere, these postings will be for them. To help keep them updated on our lives....





















And here is our Little Love.... She is 4 and 1/2 now! Not so "little" anymore, that's for sure. She picked out this entire outfit for herself, from the ponytail holders to the shoes.

Hmmmm. I wonder who she gets her penchant for fashion from?


:)

End of the Hiatus

With Holy Week starting up, I doubt that my silence on here will immediately turn to full-fledged jabbering in one fell swoop, but I couldn't let my return to the blog-o-sphere go unmarked or unexplained.

I've been doing a lot of thinking these past few weeks about my presence here. And I realized that what I need to do is return to square one. Meaning, go back to the whole reason why I started this blog in the first place.

I started it simply to keep friends and family updated on the happenings of our home.

I used pseudonyms for everyone because my sisters did. I was simply following their lead, and am glad I did. I never thought I would meet people through this medium, or that I would be joining any online "communities." I'm happy to say that these experiences of meeting people and joining forces with other bloggers has been a wonderful one. I know I am lucky, and I am very grateful for that.

My fear is that sometimes it seems that the blogging world is a bit of a popularity contest. All of us want to popular, right? So there is a temptation to rack up the stats and the comments with incessant writing..... and I really don't have time for that. I noticed also that I was beginning to feel like if I didn't post, I'd be out of some "loop" or other. The panic I felt was absurd, and made me realize that I truly needed to step back a bit and re-examine my approach.

I've come to the conclusion that the most important "loop" in my life resides in the confines of my own house. The next important "loop" would be my extended family and IRL friends. Phone calls and e-mails and letters; many prayers, and helping hands... this is where it is at here. My dissertation on the meaning of suffering in Lent, while quite possibly edifying, does nothing like an hour in adoration or a meal prepared for a friend in need or a heart to heart chat over the phone would.

However, for those of us who truly love writing, there is a balance that can be struck. And while it may be more important for me to actually be present to my family and friends, it is also important for me to spend time writing. Writing has always relaxed me.

And so? The conclusion to all of this mind-numbing analysis?

I will continue to write. I will continue to post and find the humor and joy in this crazy vocation I have. But I will be more discerning in my topics for this particular spot. In time, I will link to my "other" writing spot... my unpaid foray into the world of Catholic group blogging. I need to be more established there, and the whole "pseudonym" thingy needs to be worked out as well before I start sending folks over. It's exciting, it's fun, and a bit scary. And yet, you have no idea how grateful I am for the opportunity.

So many "loops" to be a part of in this life! My children, my family, my friends.... they all drive me loopy sometimes, it's true. But it's a ride worth hanging on for. They need me and my focused attention more than any online discussion or argument ever could.

I just needed to take a break to be reminded of that.


Happy Holy Week, my friends!

:)