Overflowing

My inbox, that is. (along with my Facebook wall)

And, consequently, my heart.

:)

Thank you so much, my very dear friends, for all of the notes of encouragement and promises of prayer for tomorrow. With each and every note and e-mail, my spirits are lifted and my wary heart is strengthened. You have no idea how much it means to me to read this constant outpouring of love.

I am so excited to hold this little one... to behold his face and have his fingers curl around mine.  To know him and name him.  At long last.

Miraculously, I have been able to accomplish every task set before me this past week. Including confession today with a dear old priest who is a champion of the local pro-life movement and simply overjoyed at the impending arrival of our little guy.  He sent us on our way this morning, laden with graces and prayers and handmade rosaries and lots of extra blessings. 

It's been a beautiful week.

And tomorrow is going to be a beautiful day.

:)

Leaving Good Behind

Yesterday was not what you'd call a stellar day in the Nut House.

By the time dinner was over, I was nursing a Smirnoff and ignoring the chaos surrounding me.  The little girls were fighting, chasing each other all over the downstairs, Sports Fan was moaning in agony, sure that we'd have to amputate his foot because he had stepped on a pencil earlier in the day, and Action Man was punctuating the air with complaints about the state of his uncompleted schoolwork.

Glancing at the clock and noticing the late hour, I rallied the troops.  Little Dear and Little Boo did the dishes, then cleaned up the living areas.  The boys tidied (most of) the homeschool room, and then they were all sent upstairs, leaving a semblance of peace and order.... some good behind.

I continued my pity-fest on the couch with my feet up.  Only one week left to go until Little Dude is born, but I have about a billion things to do.  And the weight of that knowledge plus the burden of other thoughts weighed on me.  Throw in some whacked out hormones, and you've got yourself one outrageously emotional Mama.

When despair starts to creep in, my instincts are to circle the wagons.  I can only deal with a shrunken universe.  My arms clench at my sides, and I bring the little ones in close.  I surround myself with kindness and mercy and venture no farther than what I deem comfortable.  This is not just a physical limitation, but a spiritual and emotional one as well.  Little Love and I read story after story today.  We sat quietly for so long, her head resting on my belly, that she suddenly popped up, looked at me and sighed.. what a loonnnggg snug that was, Mama!  And off she went to play.

Making my way to my doctor's appointment today, my feet dragged, knowing that this would be the last time I see this building before Little Dude was born.  My next appointment would be postpartum, and while I couldn't wait to be holding the little guy, the state of my physical being was not something I was looking forward to.

There are many "lasts" these days... My thoughts always begin with "This time next week..." because, indeed, this time next week, I will be in the hospital, and Little Dude will be born.  He and I will have come through the surgery with flying colors (God-willing) and I will be holding him in my arms. And then the uphill climb of recovery will begin.  And for that, I simply cannot wait.  I am not a patient patient.  But I am eager to begin ~possibly my last~ babymoon. It is always a time of simple joy and peace.  To have baby at home, and to experience the neediness of tending to one so dependent and helpless.  To be fulfilling just the basic needs, and to smile at the smallest of creation.

So, my dear friends, the blog will most likely be very quiet until the big announcement next Thursday.  I need to leave good behind... to prepare our home and lives for this most joyous event.  To ensure.. as best as I can... that those who will be helping out on the home front (thanks, Mom and Dad!) have a smooth transition, and that our veteran members of the Nut House will not be wading in chaos, but can truly enjoy this exciting time.

Please keep us in your prayers.  I know that all will be well.  And I truly cannot wait to introduce the newest Nut House member to all of you!


:)

A Family Christmas Tradition

(aka... Nutmeg hits the "Big Time")

:P

I participated in my very first podcast yesterday morning!  It was a wonderful experience, to talk about a subject that I absolutely love... food, and family tradition.

If you've ever wondered what Christmas Eve is all about in a traditional Polish household, this is a must-hear.  And even if it all seems overwhelming, remember... while I am half Polish, I am taking baby steps and still fully letting my own Mother take the helm when it comes to this meal.

But it is such a fantastic and richly-symbolic celebration of the most joyous of feasts!

You can listen here.

And Michelle has a nice write up (with recipes!) here.

:)

Still In Our Hearts....

We had a lovely visitor the other evening.... can you guess who?

Yes, my favorite blogger from Minnesota!  And her cutie-pie little guy.

We were so very happy to have her... even if just for a few hours on a Saturday evening.

Sigh.  I love the blogging world,where beautiful friendships abound.


:)


You can read all about Margaret's trip here. She covered more ground than a tumbleweed caught in a West-Texas-sized dust storm!

Ordinary Heroes

I am really liking Little Boo's soccer team.  After two full seasons, I am finally getting to know and feel comfortable with the parents and family situations that encompass this team.  As usual, there are lessons learned at every turn, and I regularly walk away with a renewed sense of gratitude and awe at how God provides and how I feel particularly blessed.


I have a good rapport with Little Boo's coach.  You may remember, in the beginning, how we were a bit concerned about his ...  erm, zealous coaching style.  Having gone through two seasons, though, I have now developed a lot of respect for his level of commitment.  He puts a lot of time and energy into coaching the girls, and all he is asking is that we get them to practice and games on time.  Not really that unreasonable.  And since DH has coached quite a few seasons himself, I can appreciate the frustration of trying to coach a team that is consistently late.  Hard to put in a good one hour practice, when half the team shows up 15 min late.


Furthermore, I think he respects a mom who knows and loves the game... and occasionally still plays.  Even though he teases me for being completely unable to keep my mouth shut during the game,  he also is glad to have Little Boo out there.  Little Boo knows it, and plays her heart out for the team.

But this is all just background.  Social butterfly that I am, the chats I had before and during yesterday's game is the reason for this post.

At the end of the spring season, as I was emerging from my first trimester nausea-haze, I found out that Coach Matt was in the process of getting a divorce.  He and his (soon-to-be) ex-wife seemed on friendly enough terms, and so I had had no idea.  In chatting with some of the moms at that tournament, I found out that the fall season had been impossibly tough for everyone.  The team was awful, and Coach was not mentally there.  They stuck with him, though, and were so grateful for the turn-around that the spring season had brought.  I was impressed.

Coach has a sister... 7 years older than him.  She has become the "acting" mom for his children.  She comes to all of the games and watches his younger son and helps out with his son's soccer team... which he also coaches.  She herself has two sons.  And... she is also divorced.  Apparently her husband is what she called a "deadbeat dad".  Her oldest son plays football.  Guess who is the coach?  That's right, their Uncle.  Coach Matt.  As I watched her sons, ages 12 and 10, run around and tease each other while playing with their cousins, I thought how fortunate they were to have this brother and sister combination to keep them grounded.

In chatting with this woman yesterday, she revealed something else to me.  As the older sibling, she said, she was always protective of her little brother.  Especially, she said, after their Dad died.

Coach Matt was 13.

And I was astounded... almost to tears. To think that this Coach had to navigate the rocky waters of life without a Father, and ends up becoming a Dad as well as a surrogate Dad to his own nephews... and then choosing an authority role as coach for 3 different teams... it was amazing.

These people are not what you'd call the religious type.  I think they go to church, but not on a regular basis.  I'm positive they are not Catholic. And I wonder where they draw their strength from.

To be sure, I don't know all the intimate details of their lives.  I have no idea what the states of the souls are.  But I do know and recognize natural virtue when I see it.

And I have been continually impressed with the way Coach Matt has handled Little Boo's team.  Just the right combination of pushing them to do their best, yet joking around with them, and even sternly telling them when they were not performing the way he knew they could.  My own Dad and DH have been the only other coaches I've ever admired.  So this guy had a lot to live up to.

I came away from the game yesterday with a renewed sense of gratefulness.  God works wonders in people's lives, whether they fully recognize it or not.  He has blessed me with an overabundance of grace and happiness.  Much much more than I deserve.  I look at my family, at my husband who shares this life with me, and I am so very grateful.  At the same time, I do not ever think that I am better than those He chooses to place in my path.  I am continually humbled by the lessons I am learning, because I know that it is most definitely not I that deserves the credit for this blessed life I lead.

In fact, the knowledge of my own sinfulness only makes me cling all the more closer to Him and my Faith in awe and thanksgiving.

Humor Me...

.. and tell me I'm not as irrational as I think.
(didja catch that oxymoron?  IR-rational as I THINK?  heh heh I kill me)


Last night, Lil Sis and I went out to dinner to have our annual* sissy date. And we had a great time, of course.


Right before we left, the manager-lady came over and asked if everything was satisfactory.  Fair enough, right?

THEN!  She goes in for the "Belly touch"!!!

"OOOH!" she coos.... "HOW'S THE BABY?!?"  as she REACHES OVER TO PAT MY STOMACH!!!!

But then she stops.

Lil Sis swears I was not giving her the look of death.  I cannot confirm that, since I was not looking in a mirror, but rather in horror at her approaching hand.

"Oh... Oh.  Are you the kind that thinks it's weird to have strangers touching your belly?"

Um, Why yes, ma'am.  And you are not?  May I touch your belly?

"Well... I just wanted to touch the baby..." and she wanders away.


Hmmmm.
In order for her to touch the baby that is STILL IN MY WOMB she'd have to do some pretty amazing things.  Don't-ya think?

(sigh) 

Maybe I am irrational.  Am I the only person who feels violated when strangers want to touch your pregnant belly??

Oooookay.

Back to my regularly scheduled hormonal breakdowns.  Stay tuned.  It's going to be a wild ride.

We've got three more weeks of this to go.


:P


*yes, ANUUAL. :( Not often enough, and about to get rarer...

Fatherly Advice: Good Sportsmanship Edition

Sports Fan plays goalie for his 12 and under soccer team.  Since he just turned 11, he's not exactly the largest kid on the team.  Yet, he shows a spunkiness in goal that can only be admired....


(during a break in quarters)  
DH(dear husband): Sports Fan, remember that goal you saved?  The one where the kid slide-tackled you just as you got the ball?

SF: Yeah!  That was cool, huh?

DH:  Definitely!  But that was kind of a dirty play on his part.

SF: Oh.... (eyes lighting up) So, should I have punched him or something?

DH: No!  No, no.  But.... if when you're getting up with the ball... and your elbow happens to dig into his ribs there? ....  I'm pretty sure that would be an accident.



:P

Daybook: Fall Arrives

This morning dawned cool and crisp.... lows in the 50's.  We've had the windows open every night, and the cool breezes are so welcomed by this body who has it's own internal heating element.  Poor DH!  Canadian though he is, I've been insisting on fans blowing and no covers.. all night long.  I haven't slept this well in months.


Outside My Window...

Cobalt blue skies and sun, and a brisk wind.  Now, brisk for us is 70 degrees.... so take it with a grain of salt, y'all.  I'm just thrilled to be able to watch my kids play soccer without melting!!

I Am Listening To...

Silence.  And the occasional door slam.   The little girls have a friend over, and my boys are oscillating between the basketball hoop, the hockey net and airsoft target practice.  It's as if they don't know what to do first!  Fall means outdoor play here, and the bikes and scooters and balls are in constant motion after 5 months of lying dormant.

I Am Wearing...

Maternity jean shorts and a white maternity tank top, silver hoop earrings, hair in a pony tail.  It's almost time to take Sports Fan to practice, and it will be warm sitting in the sun chatting with the other moms. Earlier today, I had on flared pants and a long-sleeved gray gap shirt. (maternity as well)  We have two wardrobes going these days.  But I don't mind a bit.


I Am So Grateful For...

Dear friends who celebrate this new birth with so much enthusiasm... as evidenced by the wondrous spread they put on for my baby shower yesterday.  It was exquisite.  And re-connecting with some of my local friends that I don't get to see very often (you know how busy we moms can get) warmed my heart. I am very blessed.

I Am Pondering...

Mostly school stuff.  I know, boring.  :P  But since I teach American History for our co-op, I am constantly searching through resources to come up with ways to bring history to life.  The kids are delightful and eager to learn and participate.  I am exhausted, but in a good way.


I Am Reading...

In Conversation With God.  I really want to participate in my bookclub this month, so I need to find Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day.  And I am always reading this.


I Am Thinking...

About this blog, this space.  I am out of practice in writing out these days.  My words tumble all mish-mash and nothing flows.  I've been distracted for far too long.  Can I find my way back?  Can I reclaim my voice?  How will it be... once Little Dude is on the scene?  I am hopeful that I will find the time and the words again.  This may be my last chance to capture these baby years...

I Am Creating.....

Order. And lists.  3 weeks and a bit until my world turns upside down and inside out.  I wish I could just focus on this new life that is coming, but practicality has to kick in here.  There are 5 other children to think of, my classes to cover and plan for the substitute, a meal and weekly plan for my parents to navigate, and many other considerations since I will be unavailable for quite some time.  C-sections are not my preferred modus operandi. Yet, much as I hate them, I need to face it and make accommodations.

On my iPod....

Lots of old western radio shows.  Which is why I don't seem to have an iPod anymore.... maybe I should say "On Action Man's iPod"...  ;P


Towards a Real Education...

Our homeschool co-op is AWESOME.  Coupled with our cd-rom based Math, we are cruising.  My kids love seeing their good friends, and I love that they have to answer to someone! else!  But, I still get to have them home all week.  And! I'm teaching again!  It's so fun.  I didn't realize how much I missed formal classroom teaching.  And being with these students is a real joy.

Towards Rhythm and Beauty...

We are in preparation mode.  I am slowly assimilating the kids into their new roles, as the need for me to step back and step down increases.  Laundry, dishes, vacuuming, cooking... all of these chores are doable by my older children, and I need to let go and let them help.  So far, they are responding... usually without too much complaining. I know it's good for them.  They need to understand and appreciate the hard work that is family life.  And hopefully, see the joy in it all as well.
:)

To Live the Liturgy...

Religion classes have spawned many interesting dinner discussions, and with All Saints Day around the corner, I expect we will delve even deeper into the mysteries of the faith.  It's wonderful to see even Little Love sharing her new-found knowledge with the family.

I Am Hoping and Praying...

For this Little One.  For the upcoming surgery.  Less understanding forums call it "birth by scalpel"... and while I cannot argue with the accuracy of the statement, I cry out against the implications.  That somehow I have chosen the easy, less natural way, and that I, and my baby, are lesser people for it.  If they only knew how much I abhor this surgery, how much I wish things could happen differently, and how I have been dreading it since that day when two pink lines announced the reality of this newest soul.  It's the bitter pill I must swallow, the dark cloud that has surrounded my thoughts constantly... the mountain of pain and fear and worry I must climb in order to see and hold my bundle of joy. Yes, I need lots of prayers... thank you!
:)

In The Garden....

I am sorry to say that our landscaping neighbors have moved, and I, and my black thumb, are completely on our own.  I do have an e-mail address, and a basic understanding of which flowers should be planted when.  I have been told to stay away from the big box stores, and, armed with this scant knowledge, I will be attempting to keep our front bed looking spiffy.  Right now, the stuff* out there looks great, and I hope it will last through the birth and recovery of Little Dude. (*yeah... don't even ask... have no clue what I planted)

From the Kitchen...

Not much.  Dinner, most nights.  I have a ton of carrots and the makings for carrot cake... we'll see if it gets accomplished.  My plans are for quick, easy meals, and lots of water and diluted juice for me.  I'm combating the last weeks of soreness and swollen ankles.  It's a race to the finish, and I feel like the tortoise in that famous fable.  But I know I will get there.  And that's a huge consolation!

One of my Favorite Things...

The lake in the fall.  I had planned to go last week.  We got everything and everyone loaded into the car, I turned the key, and... nothing.  Now that we have a new battery for the van and the promise of continued gorgeous weather, we will hopefully go this week.  A little respite is needed before this baby comes to rock our world.

A Few Plans for the Rest of the Week...

This week will be fairly quiet. A hair appointment for me (aka... operation hide-the-grays)  soccer practices, and an orthodontist appointment for Action Man.  Next week is the doozy with my parents coming for a full-blown fun soccer weekend, dry runs with our crazy schedule, and dentist and doctor visits for me.  I have a feeling the next 3 weeks are going to fly.

A Picture Thought....

I and my beautiful, thoughtful friends who worked together to put on an amazing baby shower for me Sunday afternoon.
(p.s.  I'm the one with the belly....)

:P

With Great Honor....

... comes great responsibility.

(Or something like that)

Little Boo (after soccer practice last night):  Coach said I am the captain of the team!

Me:  Really?  All-time captain?

Little Boo: Yup!

(recalling Little Boo's tendencies to be a bit...erm... vocal to her teammates on the field) 
Sports Fan:  Yeah, but it doesn't mean you can boss people around!

Little Boo:  I won't.  I'll just tell them what to do.


Lovely.

Dictatorship at the hands of an 8 year old.  Should be an interesting season...

:P

Sixty Minutes

We are a homeschooling family. That means that I have the privilege of being constantly surrounded by my children 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. (yes, I do mean 24 hours... you should see the nightly bed rotations)

For most of my waking hours (well over 12) I am perpetually engaged. Little Love is being formally homeschooled now. And she takes up the majority of my time during the day. She is a delightful learner, and very diligent. But it is a lesson in heroic patience to calmly spell out every single word she needs to write for her Spelling sentences, to listen as she sounds out the words in her reader, to point out again where Greenland is and that she needs to place the label "just there."

Couple that with Little Boo's exasperation over a History timeline that won't line up, Religion reading that is just above her level, and the never-ending battle of taming her pencil.... along with the challenges of the older three and their ability to either disappear or annoy the hell out of each other on a minute-by-minute basis... and I'm pretty much worn out by 11am.

Enter my brilliant husband.

On the first day of homeschooling, DH was standing in the kitchen at lunch time, listening as I spelled out a word for Little Love, told Sports Fan where the Bible was, and yelled up the stairs at Action Man... all while my shaking hands attempted to make a sandwich to appease my own low-blood sugar level. He commented that he thought I needed a break.

I almost hit him with a knife full of mayo.Me? A veteran homeschool mom needing a break on the very first day??? What am I? A wimp?

But then he explained.... I need a one hour break, every day. Where I am not to be disturbed. So that I can eat lunch, sit down, have a huge glass of water... and just be. With no schoolwork to help with, and most definitely nothing to engage in. In fact, he said, everyone needs that break. No matter where they are at on their schedule, no matter how much they have gotten accomplished... from 11:30 - 12:30 the kids are to get their lunch, eat, and then play. And not bother Mom. Period.

I admit, I was skeptical. But I also saw the need. I am the type of mom (and aren't we all?) who will get everyone's lunch, wipe down the kitchen and do the dishes before I'll sit down myself and eat. I will teach Math in between bites of pb&j, while gulping down leftover cold coffee. In short, I will not take the time to care for myself and I'll end up grumpy and undernourished by the end of the afternoon. Nobody wins.

So, now we get the gift of a break. We all do. The kids make their own lunches (I'll help the younger girls) and then eat and read quietly. I make my own lunch and either eat outside by myself, or with my prayer book. Then, I'll check e-mail or maybe make some phone calls or just sit quietly outside and breathe.

I am at a certain season in my life. Our family is in this season together. The children are close in age, and all self-sufficient. They can all play together.. and often do. There are no toddlers or newborns (yet... very soon, though!) and we (I) have the luxury of an hour of (relative) peace. (no method is perfect of course... we have had some unrest and bickering during our "breaks"... ) And I understand that for many homeschooling moms, this hour of solace in the middle of the day is an unrealistic expectation. But I would encourage those who can... make use of naptimes to enforce a quiet time for your non-nappers. Put out books and puzzles or even put on a little show..... just to be able to disengage... to breathe and clear your mind. To give the schooling ones a chance to recuperate from a morning of intense learning. (It's amazing how a stubborn math problem unravels like magic after an hour of outdoor play.)

You yourself will be a more cheerful, patient mom. And that is a gift every child needs.

:)