Guess Who Turns ONE Today...

I know. It's amazing.

Simply amazing how time flies...

:)

Regarding "Obli-cations"

DH answered the salesman's questions while I bounced Little Dude on my knees. We were just launching into our 90 minute presentation on "owning a piece of paradise"... just to get some free nights at Great Wolf Lodge for our peanuts.

Yes, we are nuts.  And NO. We will NEVER do that again. (because it took 3 hours... no joke. Ugh.)

Anyway... I was soundly ignoring Mr. Greasy-dude and concentrating on Mr. Cutie-Pie Little Dude when suddenly the Greasy Dude said something truly maddening. He dismissed our family vacations as OBLI-CATIONS.  As in, we are OBLIGATED to go VACATION with FAMILY.

Oh, horrors.

This guy was pitching water parks and sandy beaches just hours away.  Horseback rides and canoe trips, fully stocked kitchens and family time in a condo that is 1/3 the size of my house.

This guy didn't have a bloody clue what he was talking about.

Your poor kids, he said. Never went on a real vacation.

Excuse me?

No really. Are you serious, buddy? I almost spit my free coffee at him.

Our poor kids have seen more and done more than I ever did at their age. We have carted them through most of the U.S. -west of the Mississippi, and all courtesy of... family, and our horrific OBLI-CATIONS.

Hot Springs, skiing, Aquarium, Castle-hopping, sledding... all in Colorado.
The ocean, In-and-Out, Disneyland... in California.
Farms, friends, horses, goats... in Wisconsin.
Our amazing trip to CANADA this summer...kayaking, playing with cousins, jet-skiing, 4-wheeling, water parks, picnics, bon-fires, oh my gosh.... so much fun!

We are so lucky to have generous family and friends who live in such amazingly beautiful places, and encourage us to visit often. 

Our kids come away from every single trip with about a billion stories to tell. And they tell them for years.

Every place we visit is filled with people who love the kids, who play with them and listen to them.  They connect because we are family. And it is a joy to be with family.

When I picked the 3 kids up from school and explained where we had been all morning, they were indignant at the way Greasy Dude described our vacations. (Action Man very helpfully offered to go punch him in the face.) And they all wanted to go back and tell him exactly why he was so very wrong to make fun of our family vacations.

It was heartening to hear them jump to defend what we hold dear. And while I'm sure that someday we will be able to grab a week on the beach with "just us"... I'm happy to know that our crazy family road trips are carving out real memories.

And, yeah...  we'll take a rain-check on owning a bit of paradise.

Without all of our family around, it sounds kinda boring to us.


:)

Winter's Debut

I'm wearing my summer uniform.  Khaki shorts and cowl-neck sleeveless shirt. My crocs are well-worn, and my feet betray their roughness.  Too much exposure, too much sun... freckles abound on my skin.

It's been summer forever.

I hear the kids running around outside. The breeze has shifted today, ever so slowly, ever so subtly.  And now, at 7pm, there is a distinct chill in the air.

Little Dude toddles outside in his bare feet. Chubby legs take him all over the driveway, halting at the thick grass. He listens to the whoops from the backyard... eager to join in, unsure how.  He reaches back for my hand, confident that I will be there. Off we go, tromping through the grass to join the fun.

This is our last hurrah of summer. Homework has been shelved for this one final jaunt.  Pretty soon the darkness and the cold air will keep us in. Our temperature is expected to drop 30 degrees overnight tonight, and a chill steady rain will fall all day tomorrow.  Our nighttime romps will be replaced by fire-lit nights filled with hot tea.  No more will the boys try to outrun the girls, evading capture in the twilight.  The games will move to the warmth of rug and hearth. Of hot cocoa and popcorn. Of games and stories.

But tonight, the night is theirs. And they shout and run and breathe the summer air.

One last long breath.


:)

On My Mind

The person who thinks only of himself says only prayers of petition; the person who thinks of his neighbor says prayers of intercession; whoever thinks only of loving and serving God says prayers of abandonment to God's will, and this is the prayer of the saints.

~Fulton Sheen   

Dilemma

 Little Boo, on "What she wants to be when she grows up"

It's so hard to decide, mom.
And I only  have two choices! 

When I'm at school, I think I want to be a nun.

But when I'm playing soccer? 
I'm pretty sure I want to be a rock star.


:)

Daybook: My Crazy Life

I started this post on Sunday. 

It is now Friday.


What an appropriate title.

:P


I'm listening to~

Little Dude babbling. He says "ba ba ba". Exciting, isn't it? Yes, I'm hopeless when it comes to this kid.


I am wearing...

JEANS. Glorious, LONG JEANS. And a flowy LONG sleeved top. High of 86 today, folks.
FALL IS HERE. (ya'll will have to excuse me, I live in Texas)


I am so grateful for...

Misunderstanding.  Thinking that something is the case when it's not. I think too much. Period.


I'm pondering....

The life of the heart. How to make it grow, how to preserve and protect while it grows. How to take chances that don't wound too much. Sometimes the wounding speeds up the growth, sometimes its detrimental. This goes for all ages, and all stages. It's a tricky balance.


I am reading...

Innocent Blood for book club. Not sure if I will be able to finish. Not because of time, but because of my sensitive soul. :)  In Conversation with God, The Bronze Bow, and It's So You. There's a line up for ya.

:P


I am thinking...

Of soccer and friendships. Of school and friendships. Of life and friendships. Friendships are a very good thing.


I am creating...

New bedrooms. Still ongoing. Everyone is in their proper places, now we just need to tweak it. More storage in one room, utilize what we've got in another... New curtains for all. I have lists for each room and will buy as needed. I hope we will be completely finished by Christmas. If not, sooner?


To live the liturgy...

We need more prayer in this house. In order to do that, I need to be more organized. Homework finished before soccer practices, so that after we can gather for our rosary before showers and bed. I know we can do this. I just need to make it a priority.


Towards a real education...

I loved loved loved this post. You see, I've always been a reluctant homeschooler. I read all the stuff and bought into all the ideals and convinced myself that it was the only way to go, and then threw myself into it and constantly felt like I was totally failing at it. So I would re-double my efforts and still feel like I was a failure. So, we put 3 kids in school this year. 
I'm not convinced it's the ideal choice. In fact, the only thing I'm convinced of is that there really is no ideal choice. We are not in some heavenly utopia here. But we know our kids, and the ones in school need to be there. It's better than them being here all day.
There, I said it.
For them, at this time in their lives, it's better that they are not at home all day. We may change our minds, and I sure do miss them, but for now, this is their real education.
:)
(See? I think too much)


Towards rhythm and beauty...

Ugh. I have two lives now. Homeschooler and drive-the-kids-to-school, schooler. My house reflects the chaos I feel. Poor DH. I have got to figure this out.


I am hoping and praying...

For a beautiful beautiful gal who is so close to my heart. She has been going through a rough time for so very long. God needs to do something, and fast. Praying that His will for her life be made known and all the pieces fall into place quickly. And that we all have peace and joy in the process.


I am learning...

That I need to let go a lot more often and with more grace and trust than I am used to. There is very little I can control. From my own kids to other people's opinion of me and my children... or my house, car, clothing... it's so trivial, and yet to some, it is so essential. I need to step away from that kind of thinking.


Around the house...

The laundry beast is out of control. All the uniforms for school, P.E. and soccer is just killing me. Yesterday was "free dress" day (thank the Lord... and also? Thank the Lord for uniforms all the other days! Yikes on the fashionista front!) I was able to get the uniform situation under control. Most days I feel like I'm flying by the seat of my pants... or, pj's, as it were.
:P


From the kitchen...

No idea. Lol. We'll be making banana muffins for sure. Dinner will be meatless, but that's all I know. I stink at the no meat dinner ideas. And my family hates tuna. :(


On my iPod...

Haven't listened in ages. Really.
But I am looking forward to this. Because I am a rabid fan. Still.


One of my favorite things...

Hot coffee on a brisk fall morning. It has been way too long...


A few plans for the week...

Weekend soccer games, Homecoming week for the school kids (lots of fun events planned=lots of mommy work... but it's all fun) more bedroom work.. organizing and de-cluttering so we can make it all more functional!


A picture thought...

Gratuitous Little Dude photo...


:)

Autumn Babymoons

Autumn is babymoon time for me. All of my children were born in late summer, early autumn. (And so, by default, Spring is morning-sickness time.  Unfortunately, I feel inexplicably ill on certain spring mornings... my body's way of remembering, I guess...lol)

 
There is a slight crispness to the air as I recline in bed, nursing Little Dude to sleep.  The curtains dance in our bedroom... and the evening is quiet.

I hold Little Dude close, smell his babyness, and sigh, remembering....

I remember how fragile I feel, just home from the hospital.  That first evening home I made it as far as the chair in the front living room. It was Halloween, and I wanted to see the comings and goings in the neighborhood, wanted to see my own peanuts as they waltzed out the door, and their excited faces as they came racing back in with their Dad and Grandpa, spreading their bounty on the floor, eager to share....

I remember not realizing that by parking myself in the front living room, I'd made myself available to the sweaty, make-up laden teenagers from down the street eager to see and (eek!) touch my precious 3 day old babe.... their wonder and excitement was contagious, though. And I discreetly wiped the.. erm... fake blood from Little Dude's cheek. 

And later that night, piling pillows all around, laying in my own bed... struggling to care for this littlest life, I remember the hot tears. The recovery is always difficult for me, and caring for such a helpless one while feeling so helpless myself compounds my hopelessness. The hot tears are cooled in the night breeze, the strong arms around me calm my heart, and the babe's wails are quieted. The soft sheets on the bed are a welcome respite from the rough hospital linens.  My legs gingerly explore the cooler spots on the surface, every movement reminding me of my frailty.


I remember the slow descents from my upstairs bedroom to the living room. Eventually I was able to do it without help.  Then I was able to do it while carrying Little Dude.  Every day I made that descent, unwilling to remain isolated in my bedroom.  I joined in the family life, parking myself in the corner of the longest couch, able to see and hear all.  And when I would fall asleep, the kids would tiptoe around me, or snug in while I nursed Little Dude, holding him in my arms while he slept, not wanting to put him down.

(my "corner spot"... notice the sweats? comfort is a must!)

I remember how everyone rallied. How the kids did laundry and dishes. How my DH would come home from work and start on dinner. He would clean the kitchen, sweeping and mopping, and then he would take a wailing babe for a walk outside while I attempted a shower. Everything centered on our family life.  There were little to no outside distractions... (well, except the occasional soccer game, of course)

Now Little Dude is walking.

What a difference 11 months makes.  I knew it would come.  But I honestly didn't think it would come this quickly.  He squirms out of my arms and I set him down.  On his sturdy little legs he toddles off, eager to see and do, just like everyone else. Put a soccer ball in front of him and he moves double-time.  It's quite a sight to see... the ball is as tall as his legs are long.  But he moves it, first one foot, then the other.

He fits right in.

Perfectly.

:)

My New Kitchen "Help"

:)

Because Sometimes, It IS Just Me

Actually, I'm pretty sure it's always me.

:P

I was invited to a mom's night out Wednesday evening.  It was for a new homeschooling group in the area, a Catholic one, with many wonderful moms.

I didn't go.  Not because of Little Dude, or DH's work schedule, or the craziness of soccer practices....
Not because of the women there... they are all so wonderful and lovely and joy-filled.

I didn't go because I didn't want to.

I didn't want to paste a smile on my face and share a recipe, I didn't want to make myself presentable, re-fresh my make-up and laugh at the craziness of my days.  I didn't want to sit and chat.

I just... couldn't.

My days are too raw right now.  My temper too fragile.  My nerves too totally and completely shot.  Two weeks into doing the juggling act between homeschooling and homework, between stay-at-home and drive-to-school, between sleep-in and get-up-and-get-out...  and I am tired.

We bloggers have to walk a fine line.  Too much real-deal stuff and people won't read. It's depressing.  Too much sunshiney-happy-faced stuff, and people won't read.  It seems fake.

So it goes in the real world.  

I couldn't handle happy-shiny Wednesday evening. I needed heart-to-heart. I needed real. I wonder how many other homeschooling moms need that, needed that instead.

I don't know how to provide that. I'm too choleric.  I'm too melancholic.  And I'm sarcastic.... a NYer to the core.  It's a horrible combination sometimes, but there you have it. My IRL friends are gems.  They put up with me. I dare say they even love me, in spite of it all.

And while I am grateful for the happy women, I also crave the real.  The down-to-earth, the nitty-gritty, the wow, this is just too damn hard, let's get a drink!

So, DH and I will be going out tomorrow night.  To get that drink, and have that chat.

Thank goodness he loves me, melancholic-choleric-NY-sarcasm and all....


:)

Daybook: Second Week of School

I can't believe how quickly the time is flying by now. We are just starting our second week of school for all of the kids, even the homeschooled ones. Little Dude is walking, and I'm able to be away from him for a few hours at a time now, if need be. And the weather has finally turned. Finally. More on all of this throughout my daybook. 


Outside my window~

Sunshine. Blue skies. COOL temps. High of only 84 today... yes, only. We went from 100's to 80's in 2 days.  Lows at night in the 60's. Fall is here!!


I am listening to~

My two homeschoolers fighting. Oy. It's snack time, and apparently making the lemonade is sending them over the edge.


I am wearing~

Khaki shorts and long sleeve melon-colored v-neck shirt. Bare feet. Of course.

(on the ferry heading up the Georgia Strait)


I am so grateful for~

Cooler weather. After over 65 days straight of triple digits, the cooler breezes seem miraculous. Indeed, they are. I am SO grateful.


I am pondering~

The balance of homemaking.  Specifically, a home that is kid-friendly, but neat. Our house will never be Pottery-Barn perfect. Our furniture is mostly hand-me-downs... and when I have toddlers running through it hither and yon, I'm glad for that. I can let go of my worry about our things and focus on our company.  However, I also know that children love beauty and order. How to balance both. How to not obsess but be organized. It may seem like a no-brainer, but this is hard for me.


I am reading~

Just finished The Help for book club.  Highly. Recommend.  My goodness, what an amazing read. 
I'm now reading Innocent Blood for book club, and The Children's Homer for the Lit class I teach.


I am thinking~

About my school kids. All day I think about them, checking their schedules, seeing what class they are in, and I pray for them.  They are doing so well at school. I can hardly believe it. 

(excuse the early-morning, Papa-in-a-hurry shot)


I am creating~

New bedrooms. DH and I, side-by-side. Boo and Love's room is finished.  We painted the boys' room yesterday. DH is building lofts. It's slow, but we are making progress. What a crazy time. 


On my iPod~

Lots of painting music.  :)

(view from our bedroom at the beach house... sigh)



Towards a real education~

Our co-op is going really well. Little Dear's classes are more challenging this year, but not overwhelming. It's a good balance. We went on a nature walk this morning. It was glorious. I think we need to do that a bit more this Fall. 


Towards rhythm and beauty~

Less kids at home mean less mess. It's really true. But it also means less hands to help if I need it. Little Dude is so much happier now that he's more mobile. I can get some chores done! And also? I can write more. How I've missed it!

(Little Dude at the beach house)



I am hoping and praying~

For Suzanne, and Charlotte, and many other intentions. 


In the garden~

Need to re-plant. I can't wait until this weekend when I can go and buy fall blooms!!


Around the house~

The smell of paint and wood stain. How fun!

(missing our family in Canada... right Little Boo?)


From the kitchen~

I've been baking. :)  Apple pie and carrot cake, for starters. The promise of fall brings out the domestic side of me.



One of my favorite things~

Yummy kitchen smells. :)




A few plans for the week~

Our calendar is starting to fill up. Soccer practices, Irish step dance, Night out for mom, soccer tournament this weekend, a coffee get-together... it's nice to get back into socializing again!



A picture thought~

(from our trip to the Sunshine Coast, British Columbia, Canada)


:)