Thursday Night Fright

This past Thursday, I went to adoration at our local church, fully prepared to come away with my jaw unclenched, my mind cleared, and my step lighter from being able to spend some quality one-on-one time with "He-who-knows-me-best".....

But instead I came out with my head spinning, my hands shaking, my stomach jumping, and feeling anything but peaceful.

Here's what went down.

I entered the church, blessed myself, signed in, and proceeded to a pew somewhat in front and to the left of the altar. As I approached the pew, a short, guttural sound came forth from a man towards the back of the church. Automatically reacting and glancing behind me, I noticed a man about 30 years old, give or take, lounging on one of the back pews. Instantly on my guard, I knelt and prayed.

The next 20 minutes were spent enduring more guttural noises (we're talking really really deep throated noises...) laughing and muttering (with some cursing involved). I was scared to death, but knew I shouldn't be, since I was with my Lord. And, luckily, there were at least 10 other people in the church as well. I figured (and I was right, I found out later on) that this young man was probably just poor and homeless, battling some mental deficiency, and unable to afford the medication he needed. Either that, or he was possessed. Which seemed unlikely... wouldn't he be flipping out, to be in Christ's actual Presence? But the more I tried to reason with myself, and shake my growing fear, the harder it became for me to pray. It got to the point where if this man didn't make a noise for a few seconds, I started to wonder where he was, if he was coming up behind me or something... crazy, huh?

And so I left, my hand shaking so badly, I could barely "sign out" at the door. And as I got into my car, a police cruiser pulled in, undoubtedly to remove the man causing the disturbance inside.

Pondering my decision to leave, I decided I acted rightly. I have a little (very little, I might add) experience working with mentally challenged adults. Each adult I worked with had a file a mile long, and each situation had to be handled so very very carefully, because there were certain "triggers" (and they were all different) for each individual. And so, who knows if the color I was wearing could set someone off, the color of my coat, or my shoes... or maybe the look on my face! When dressing for work, and dealing with the patients, I had to be super careful. And the people I was working with were being treated! Not knowing what this man's case history was, made it a dangerous situation.

I was angry, though. Angry that my time with my Lord had been cut short. I may or may not have aimed a frusterated, "Well, I tried! You have to give me credit for that!" to His most awesome Presence as I knelt and bowed humbly before taking my leave.

:)

And, of course, He is faithful.

While I may not have felt an immediate effect upon my return home, the next day found me much more at peace, much more focused and centered.

I hope and pray that that young man (not a stranger to the parishioners there, I found out later on) can find the help and peace he needs as well.