And so, one of our homeschooling co-op mates has elected to put her eldest in school. It's actually the same school that DS #1 attended last year! It's an excellent school, with a rock-solid administration, and amazing teachers. The families are very supportive and I couldn't think of any reason not to send one's kiddos there! Except $$$$, of course. Which is one reason why we decided to homeschool this year.
Here's the deal.
I'm being hit with the "not-enough" syndrome again.
When I see my ruffian boys sprawling in the dirt, swords swishing in the air as they roll over each other in a pirate dance, at 1pm, I think....surely they're missing something in their curriculum? Surely there are a few more worksheets I could drum up from somewhere, so I'll feel like they're accomplishing something?
When I see my eldest perusing the NASA website, or constructing a building in the dirt (using mud as cement) I wonder if I should haul him over to the homeschool table for more flashcard work, or math drills.
I worry about the boys when they spend so much time listening to books on tape (Little House series are the favorite right now), thinking they need to be doing something more academic, like writing their dissertation?
:)
Just joking about the dissertation.
But not about everything else.
I really do worry that my (our) choices for this year aren't up to par. I try so hard to create a learning environment in the home, so that when the kids aren't doing formal schooling, they are still learning something.
But, I still get hooked, and caught up in what we do versus "real, serious" school.
Thoughts....
Answers....
Hope....?
6 comments:
You might have an unrealistic idea of how much time children in an institutional school actually spend doing work. I have been guilty in the past of romanticizing what kids really do in any institutional education setting, whether public or private. It took sitting down and really trying to remember what it was like when I was there myself and when I was a teacher about a decade ago. Do this little exercise:
1. Figure out, realistically, how long it would take to get 30 seven year old to line up, go to the bathroom (by themselves) complete with washing hands and return to said line. Deduct that from the time spent in school.
2. How long would it take for the same 30 kids to line up, walk to an art room, find their chair, be counted again to make sure no one escaped during transport, be handed or get their own supplies, put on any protective gear necessary, return everything they used, clean up themselves and their work area and line up again. Deduct again! In a 50-minute class there might be only 15 minutes of actual creative time.
I could go on, but I think you get my point. Think of home schooling as condensing school down to the business of education and cutting out the junk.
I would strongly caution you against the urge to find busy work for them. Busy work is just that. It will probably only end up frustrating them. I am a big believer that primary school is about teaching them foundational skills. They don’t need to be challenged; they need to be children because it doesn’t last for very long. The kids in the big brick box down the road might do more work, but are they really learning more? Kids don’t always learn best from worksheets and flashcards. You do a great job of creating a perpetual learning environment! I am not talking as an unschooler, but as someone who frequently talks to my public school teaching friend to make sure that my kids are on target with her kids. She agrees 100%.
You have a good point, but I must make one little squeak.....the school DS #1 went to last year had 5 kids in his class. So, it was like specialized homeschooling.....and they were busy and did tons!
He made great strides, more than I had ever seen from him here at home, or at the Montessori school he went to. (granted, he was only 4-5 years old then)
I guess I won't ever feel satisfied until I know for sure exactly what that particular big brick box down the road is accomplishing academically every day, and then seeing if we measure up.....maybe not using the same curriculum, but just to see to compare.
I don't want my kids to end up behind, and cheated out of a good education.
Hi! I'm new here. :) I think you touch on a near-universal experience of homeschooling moms in this post: the dreaded sense that We Need To Do More. After all, we're awake at least sixteen hours each day, right? Why, our kids should be conjugating Latin verbs in kindergarten, and moving on to the challenging languages like Mandarin Chinese by the time they reach third grade--doesn't every homeschooler do this? (And don't get me started on those homeschoolers who insist on winning the National Geography Bee; are they TRYING to make the rest of us look bad?)(Kidding.)
I think the thing to do when these kinds of doubts surface is to ask yourself whether these are realistic reservations you have about a particular child/subject/situation, or are they merely vampire doubts, the kind that haunt us late at night but wither into ash under the influence of sunlight and a good strong cup of coffee.
How can we tell the difference? I think that vampire doubts, when placed in front of a mirror, invariably reflect someone else's face. Maybe it's the face of one of those parents whose kids still go to the good-as-homeschooling school; maybe it's the face of a hypercritical relative who always hints that homeschooling is suspect at best (or worse, the one who plans to be sweet and phony-supportive till you invariably fail). Maybe it's the face of someone you know who is always bragging about the academic strides her children are making at the exclusive school that's way out of your reach; maybe it's your husband's co-workers suggesting your kids wouldn't do well on standardized tests (a personal example). Or maybe, most disheartening of all, it's your husband--even wildly supportive husbands can have 'reality check' moments, in which they ask in puzzled voices over the phone, "Are the kids supposed to be yelling like that in the middle of the school day?"
Whatever the case may be, these doubts are simple to deal with (not easy, necessarily; just simple). We just have to remember that no one in the world loves our kids like we do, and no one can teach them the things that we can--period. Maybe they'd get a good education, or even a great one, somewhere else, but they wouldn't be learning the things we want to teach them, in the way we want those things taught: Share with each other. Don't fight. I'll check your work as soon as I finish with your brother/sister. Did you do your best work here? Let's see if we can figure out where you went wrong...or in other words, love, peace, patience, humility and understanding. Tools like these for fulfilling our mission on earth and reaching heaven are far more important, in the long run, than mere knowledge.
I agree with ecurious. I fight those vampire doubts all the time. We all want a solid education for our children; we all want them to have the tools necessary to succeed in life. We all fear we're not doing enough.
It is possible that the school with only 5 kids is an excellent choice for an education, but the cost is high. We have to be realistic. Hiring PhDs to teach certain subjects to our children may be a great idea - if we can afford it. But at some point we're paying a lot more for NOT MUCH BETTER. There is a point of diminishing returns.
In VA, we have to do standardized tests every year, so I have a benchmark for my children's progress. That might give you comfort...maybe not.
What your children won't get in school is the family interactions which are so valuable. They won't get all that extra love given in the form of teaching them to read or about the world.
If all their free time was spent playing video games or watching tv, I could see questioning that...but playing pirate or watching Signing Time videos is not a waste of time...nor is it available in any school but yours.
They might have been busier, but were they learning more? Even if they were, what were they learning? I remember being busy in school making things and doing projects, but I can't for the life of me figure out what making a diorama did for my intellect; but I sure made a lot of them!
The standardized test thing is something I have looked into although it is not required for Texas. You can find copies of the TAKS tests online (the ones they used a few years ago) and give them to your kids just to see how they measure up.
Vampire doubts is a very good way to describe them because they can certainly drain you and if you give into them too often, they can destroy you. I struggle too. It helps to remind myself during those times that God has a plan for my kids that includes their education. He alone knows who they will become and what they will do. Am I OK with that? What if God plans for my son to build beautiful homes for families to live in and that means not college as I would plan, but rather an apprenticeship with a general contractor? Would I be OK with that? They are His children placed in my care for a while. What kind of Mom does He need me to be for them?
Have you ever read Dumbing Us Down by John Taylor Gatto? He talks about what lessons are really taught in schools and even though his experience is with public schools, I think they would even apply to the tiny brick box down the road.
One last thing to consider is maybe there is something that was missing from the Montessori school and from your homeschool that the other third school had and maybe you can supplement it. Just because they had it doesn't mean that you can't, you might just have to figure out what it is.
Thanks, all!
And welcome, eCurious!
The ideal homeschool situation is why I homeschool and the picture I have in my head of how a homeschool should work, eC, but a lot of times, I end up being not quite the paragon of patience and understanding....actually, quite the opposite!
But I do believe that true habits of virtue like kindness and patience is best taught at home, since that is the place where it is hardest to practice them!
And like Michelle said, no other school has breaks where the kids can play pirates and watch Signing Time and maybe look at the NASA website to watch replays of take-offs and landings, and maybe learn a few things from their file videos....
And, CMW, as usual, you hit the nail on the head. Yes, maybe I am missing something, and I just need to add it. Just one thing. Not twenty. And just what exactly is my purpose here? Why do I feel pressured that my kids be ready for Harvard? Maybe DS #1 will actually be the next Steve Irwin (that's his goal these days) and will need to do Marine Biology in Florida, not get his BA at TAC....
My purpose is to prepare God's children for the work He has in mind for them.
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