Friday, September 08, 2006

Appliance Woes

No, I am not talking about the Maytag, Whirlpool, or Frigidaire kind. I'm talking about the Ortho kind. As in Orthodontic appliance. Specifically, a contraption called the Essix Retainer. Here's an actual quote from the website:

"An Essix Retainer is a removable, virtually invisible, (HA!) plastic device that can be used not only for retention, but also for a variety of functions including tooth movement, bridges, bite planes, stabilizers, fluoride and bleaching trays, and TMJD relief." (emphasis mine)
(And no, I have no idea what TMJD means...."Too Much Junky Donuts"???)





It now rests in the unfortunate mouth of DS #1, to the tune of a couple grand.

Oh, the joys of an Orthodontic appliance! Let me count the ways we love it's presence in our lives!

We enjoy the sore lips
The complaints and the moans,
The constant reminders
To leave it alone.

The messes at mealtime
Attempting to gnaw
With this half pound of plastic
Inhibiting his jaw

And then there's the talking,
Oh what a joy!
With the teasing that follows
From our second boy

But when it's removed,
What do you think?
It's greatest defense
Is the way that it stinks!

10 comments:

Sephora said...

p.s. "TMJ" stands for "temporomandibular joint," so I can only assume that the "D" stands for "disorder." Some TMJ disorders include breakdown of the joint or decreased nerve activity to that area (sometimes because of cervical spine issues). Some extreme problems that cannot be resolved with therapy are resolved either by orthodontic appliances or surgery. (just an FYI...) Yes, and I'll be posting again soon.

nutmeg said...

Thanks for the info, Sephora, you are amazing!

Anonymous said...

I have one of these and it does stink! I suggest Listerine to sanitize and de-stinkify! Just be warned that if you leave it soaking too long, it will turn the color of the listerine---then again, he might enjoy that. Listerine comes in many fun colors these days!

nutmeg said...

Unfortunately, DS #1 needs to be wearing this ALWAYS. To eat, to sleep, ALWAYS. He may take it out to brush his teeth. That's it.

But.

I think soaking it in (or at least rinsing it with) Listerine is a good idea. I'm already telling him he needs to brush it with toothpaste just like he does his teeth...

Anonymous said...

Absolutely brush with toothpaste! I would recommend that while he is brushing his teeth, soak it in some Listerine (in a bowl or cup) it doesn't need that long. You can still brush it after but the Listerine helps freshen it up. Tastes good too!

Sephora said...

Frankly, I feel bad for the poor chap. What a burden to have to wear it all the time! How long is this supposed to last?

southerncanuck said...

The problem is that picture isn't really indicative of what the thing looks like. Its much bigger and more intrusive than that.

nutmeg said...

I don't know how long he is supposed to wear this thing.

My guess is either when the problem is corrected, or when he starves to death.....whichever comes first.

He just is having such a hard time eating with this thing on, it's hard to watch him struggle and then give up, leaving the food on his plate and walking away. I haven't been very strict, telling him he can take the retainers out and finish his food without them.....

Sephora said...

I see the point of wearing the retainer while he's eating--because that's when the jaw does the most active functional activity. So if you can "retrain" that activity in the correct position, things will move along faster. But gosh, the poor kid!

nutmeg said...

Saturday is our first day with "no breaks". He has to HAS TO wear it at all times....

Pray for us.