Thus begins the gripping story penned and lived out by Immaculee Ilibagiza in
Left to Tell.
I opened the book with much trepidation.
I had heard it was a story of miraculous survival, and heart wrenching pain. I knew it to be an incredible feat that this woman, along with seven others, had been able to survive the holocaust by hiding in a bathroom for three months.
In fact, when I chose it for my own book club, there were many audible gasps, a few quips of "that should be uplifting, eh?" and even one or two women who had actually heard of the book and were eager to read it.
I was able to read most of her story before I broke down and had to pause for a few days.
It wasn't when she had to tell her younger brother to leave the safety of the Pastor's home.
Nor when she learned how her older brother had been so very brave before they split his head open.
Nor even when she went home and gave her family their proper burials.
No.
These events were agonizing, heart-breaking, and unbelievably horrific.
The part that touched me the most was her love, and her forgiveness.
"I wept at the sight of his suffering. Felicien had let the devil enter his heart, and the evil had ruined his life like a cancer in his soul. He was now the victim of his victims, destined to live in torment and regret. I was overwhelmed with pity for the man."
"I could feel his shame. He looked up at me for only a moment, but our eyes met. I reached out, touched his hands lightly, and quietly said what I'd come to say: 'I forgive you.'"
This visit to the prison cell was inspired by a dream she has in which she is able to visit with her family in heaven. Her brother Damascene chides her for her sorrow, saying that her family is happy now, and she must heal her heart, find love, and forgive those who had hurt them.
The beauty of this dream, and the love that fills Immaculee's heart, and the courage she showed in returning to her village to confront and forgive the killers, was too much for me. Reading, as I was, while standing in the kitchen making lunch one day, I choked back the tears and put the book away for a few days.
It was one of those moments when the divine plan is shown in the human context and my brain is able to wrap around it for an instant... and the beauty and the peace and the joy is too much for this mortal intellect.
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Immaculee sees clearly the struggle that lies ahead for Rwanda. As the perpetrators of the genocide are released and return to their homes, the battle for peace in Rwanda will begin. The survivors of the holocaust will once again be neighbors with those who perpetuated the violence and the killings. And the only way out of this cycle of violence is forgiveness.
This golden thread of forgiveness is so very crucial for all of us.
No, I have never had to endure a genocide or a holocaust of any sort.
But, the slight of friends, the unintentional hurts of loved-ones, or maybe even a hurt from someone that was very much intentioned? We all have these. And we all have a choice.
We can sit in our accounting rooms and, much like Ebenezer Scrooge, count and re-count the instances in which we have been wronged, stacking and re-arranging the different scenarios and re-live the anger of the injustice, our hearts and souls shrinking into blackness.
Or, we can forgive.
Immaculee shows us that it is not instantaneous. It is not easy. But it is possible.
And it will free us and make us able to love as God loves... not counting the cost, not keeping score... unconditionally, with the true good of the other foremost in our hearts.
The love of a single heart can make a world of difference... ~Immaculee
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Please visit these women who wrote their own excellent reviews:
Elizabeth,
Barbara,
Mom of Boys,
And
Emily.
