Life in a Nutshell
I've talked about our elderly neighbor, Miss Ginny, before.
Last week, Miss Ginny pulled up to the curb in front of her house, front end dragging, with a cop car following her, lights a-blazing. Turns out she blew a tire, didn't realize it, and dragged her car all the way up the main road that our street hooks up with. The cops tried to pull her over, but she never saw or heard them, she just kept right on truckin' completely destroying the rim of the now stripped tire.
We called her daughter and son-in-law, and since the cops said that Miss Ginny should not be driving, they took her car away. Well, that seems safer, eh?
Not really.
For the past two days, we have intercepted her on her way to the "store" (a good 3 mile walk, at least) wearing her fur coat, winter hat, and heavy shoes.....in 95+ heat. DH has taken her to the store both times, and instructed her repeatedly that she simply cannot walk to the store, she needs to come see us.
I feel so badly for her. She is so independent, and not having a car really makes her feel imprisoned. I know she shouldn't be driving, heck, she really shouldn't even be living by herself. But, did I mention she is independent?
DH called her daughter today, to tell her what has been going on. He is now walking around the neighborhood telling the neighbors to keep an eye out. That seems to be the most we can do at this point.
I don't know what the answer is. I don't envy the daughter in all of this. Miss Ginny has lived by herself for so long, been so involved in the community, how can one make the decision to take away her car, her house, her life as she knows it. All in the name of what is best for her, for her safety!
I'm glad we live here so we can keep an eye on her. But we are not always home.....
And then what?
3 comments:
My humble advise after several years as a Social worker in a Nursing home, is to call the Alzheimer’s association, it is obvious that she is suffering from dementia or even a full out Alzheimer’s. Her family needs to get her on some kind of assistance with Medicaid to assist her in keeping her independence. Our elderly are so independent and need to keep as much of it for their dignity as possible. I recommend that since you have organized your neighbors, to get a schedule and write it out for her to follow. Have her daughter (or you) post it in her kitchen, have a calendar so that she can mark the days off and keep current with what day it is and where she is. This helps remind her when she goes to the store (As now she will need a ride) when, she will need to go to the Dr. office, etc. I am not sure if she has any of these items. My experience is that the Alzheimer’s will send a SW to her home and eval what she will need or even if it is safe for her to live independently. There are programs out there to assist her and her family, not just in the here and now, but coping. Sounds like, you have been active in helping her and her family. It is possible that Ms Ginny’s family is in denial of her condition, and they are all VERY lucky to have you as a neighbor. You could also contact a local Ombudsman that specializes in the rights of the elderly. They will ensure that Ms Ginny gets all the social programs, she is entitled to. This disease is horrible. They forget who everyone dear to them is, yet they will tell you a story about 1945 like it was 5 min ago. It is a hard and sad process. Hopefully this info will help you, and Ms Ginny
I took her to the store again yesterday......
And a friend of hers stopped by to rant about how the daughter is neglecting Miss Ginny, not even helping her with her laundry (she's been wearing the same outfit for 4 days now) or her hair "or teeth" I chimed in.....
It is physically repulsive to me.... isn't that terrible? I'm trying to see (and smell) beyond it, but it is hard.
I just have to remember that she is a child of God, too. Mother Teresa would have hugged her and cleaned her everyday if needed....
Thanks for the advice, superstar....
I'll pass it along to her daughter, I feel too involved already....
If after you talk to her daughter and she still doesn't get involved. Call these agencies, they are government funded and will step in where the family falls off. They can even go as far as to appoint a guardian for her financially and physically to look after her. I know how heart breaking it all is...You are really going above and beyond! That is all any of us can do.
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