My dearest friend, who is a Mama to 6, and whose youngest is 7 months old, called me yesterday with some amazing news... She is expecting!
I laughed in wonder.
And congratulated her most heartily.
She and her husband are just thrilled.
And while it was unexpected in some ways, it was entirely expected in others. Lisa and her husband are very generous people. Not just in being open to life, but in all aspects of their family and friendships. I can't count the number of times I have dropped my 5, to be added to her 6, (that's 11 kids under one roof, folks!) while I ran to the doctor's or some other time-consuming errand. She doesn't bat an eye.
Her parents are very active in the pro-life community here, running a crisis pregnancy center and organizing conferences and marches and masses. Wheelchair-bound from a war injury, her dad is always ready to hand out "precious feet" pins and pro-life bracelets and trinkets for the kids whenever he sees them. They are devoted grandparents, just thrilled by the news.
Unfortunately, not all of our aquaintances are as supportive. Isn't that strange? These are pro-life, strong Catholic moms, and the snide remarks are unbelieveable. The general jist is that they are glad it is someone else having the baby and not them.
Why is that?
Has anyone else encountered anything like this?
Any ideas or thoughts as to why people react/feel this way?
**After a lot of thinking yesterday, it suddenly occurred to me that there was a very good reason for this particular attitude, and that I should be praying, not seething! NFP is a very touchy subject to some of my aquaintances, simply because they are at that time of life when all heck breaks loose and nothing is normal any more. As a result, things are difficult with thier husbands, who, while being loving and supportive, are struggling with these changes as well. (I'm being vague on purpose...sorry!) Contraception, believe it or not, is looking mighty attractive to these women right now, given especially the recent scandalous behavior of quite a few priests in the Church! (I'm not saying what I think, but what I understand these people to think)
This is a crisis of faith. And if disobedience to Church teaching is chosen, the entire family will suffer.
Again, these are good, strong Catholic moms. I need to support them in my prayers! **
5 comments:
Please forgive the self-promotion, 'Meg, but you can read my take on the whole "having more babies" thing in my "Thin Red Line" post.
"How can there be too many babies?" asked Mother Teresa. "That is like saying there are too many flowers."
Have a blessed week!
I have heard many people I would describe as strong Catholic women say in response to the question "More?" with a firm "No". They have even gone on to elaborate that the number they have is the perfect number for whatever reasoning (seats in a car, seats in a booth at Denny's, bedroom arrangments, etc...)
I think the correct reponse should be, "Not right now, if it be God's will." There is a big difference between those two sentiments. Our Lord knows what we can handle and he does not call all of us to be mothers of extra large families. (Extra large= close to double digits or more in my book) It took me a long time to accept this because I wanted to be one of these moms; however, a good parent realizes that sometimes what a child wants is not always good for them and God, being our perfect Father, has a plan for me that I am not in charge of. I have never had a surprise baby. I believe that God whispered an invitation to me with each one of my kids (four here, one in Heaven). Every month we listen for another whisper. The voice we hear says,"Not right now!" for many different reasons. I hope and pray that someday it will change. Just like culpability of sin has a lot to do with intention, I think these women are in need of some spiritual direction that will help them see the difference between "no" and "not right now".
Loved the post Margaret!
CMW, I love the notion of an "invitation"... and while I long for another child in our family, I haven't heard the call either. Not yet.
Soon, I hope!
I'm so glad to be around such good, Godly women!
I credit my husband with using that phrase to describe what I felt and heard. Maybe it is not that way for everyone, but it is for me!
Thanks to Margaret for the self-promotion. I really enjoyed her post and will add her to my Mommy Blogs folder.
Thanks for the post. I enjoyed reading it. I am a catholic mother of 4. I was an only child and could not wait to have children. I think its wonderful that your friend is having one more child. It sounds like they are wonderful people and that child is going to grow up in a loving home. Thanks, Jennifer
Post a Comment