Life in a Nutshell
....here in the nut house is the ever-debatable "what are we going to do about the kids' schooling next year?"
DH and I keep going back and forth. The problem is that we seem to have a problem deep in our gut with traditional schooling. I feel badly that DS#1 goes to school all day, comes home and has another hour of homework before he can relax and play, explore, read, create, etc. Whereas the other kids do 3 hours of work a day, then have the rest of the time to play, read, create, explore, etc. It seems that learning at home would be more natural and efficient..... BUT.
But the problem is that DS#1 is by no means efficient. He loves to avoid doing his work, and enjoys telling me what he should and should not have to do. We have noticed a slight improvement in these areas since he went to school, but mostly just less stress for me, since his main motivation has been to get his work done for Mrs. Clark the next day.
He, of course, wants to be homeschooled, since he sees how much more free time the kids here get. But, does he want it enough to work hard when I ask him to?
THAT, my friends, is the trillion-dollar question.....
As far as the other kids are concerned, homeschooling has worked really well, so there is no need to "fix what ain't broke" so to speak.
And so. That's the hot debate around here, besides the usual what to have for dinner and how many times can I scream 'Mama' before she answers......
:)
3 comments:
Ok here goes. Homeschooling is such a hot button topic, that I am hesitant to put forth my opinion. I have seen many people who successfully homeschool their other children, then decide that the oldest one " needs" school for one reason or another. Eventually, this usually ends with most if not all of the other children being put in school as well.
If DS is not efficient he will not learn this at school. School will hinder him, and may mask his inability to form his own inner discipline. A school teacher has limitations in her ability to teach self-motivation that a parent does not. The real trillion dollar question is are you able to do it. DS will eventually settle down and become efficient and compliant in schooling, as long as you remain in control and consistent. There will be bad days, when you want to throw in the towel, but they will become fewer as you settle into a routine. There will also be days when you feel as if the other kids are being slighted because you must spend so much time "dealing" with DS and his difficulties. Keep in mind that they too will hit walls similar to his if not the same and you will be spending the time with them.
I think most oldest children have this wall, maybe it comes from the fact that we expect so much from them, especially in large families. I know my oldest is a geat help to me throughout the day with all the littles. Because of his status, he feels comfortable questioning my authority on just about every matter, including school. I have to be very careful not to let him overstep his bounds.
I guess it comes down to it being a great balancing act, with lots of ups and downs. I know that you see all the pros of homeschooling, but don't forget that the longer DS is in school, the more difficult it will be to separate his life from it.
Well. I have already said too much, take it with a grain of salt, I am a die-hard. Boy have times changed!!!
Thanks for your input!
I guess my only question (my skepticism is coming out here...) is,
How long will it take for DS to become efficient and compliant?
I homeschooled him for a full year and it was H-E-L-L....
I was constantly fighting, threatening, witholding privileges for work not finished in time.... and when the others were finished, he'd be constantly getting involved in what they are doing.....and when isolated, he would daydream.....
ARGH.
And so, any suggestions as to what I can do better? Seriously. I guess I want to know what you mean by saying "Are you able to do it?"
Am I willing to make the committment? or Can I actually do what DS needs to be efficient? If so, how do I know what exactly he needs....and do you have any suggestions??
Thanks!
:)
I think if anyone is qualified to know what your son needs, it is you. There may be times that you have to step back from your situation and reassess, but the fact that you have a large family will aid you. You will not have the ability ( time wise) to nitpick and obcess over him as you would an only child.
I will say I think it will probabally take at least 6 months to adjust. Compliance, however, is a constant battle. If I were you I would sit down and figure a very bare bones curriculm for the first year, only work with what he absolutely needs. If you want to add some extra fun stuff that you think he would like, great, but plan on chucking it at the first sign of resistance. The first few months are going to be spent mostly laying down the law, so you need to be realistic about academic goals. Then think about that year you spent homeschooling him. How can you change and solidify your reactions to his frustrations and distractions? Make a discipline/teaching method plan and stick to it. Think of every possible reaction.
My oldest is always the most reluctant and unhappy about getting school done. I have found that if I am on top of things and stick to our schedule, he knows what to expect and that helps him. When we take a few days off it is always difficult. My attitude is also really affecting. If I am grumpy about school, so are they... so every morning that you possibly can, get out your little Mary Sunshine costume.
This last one was the most difficult for me. Every time you start having a difficult time with a subject ( or a kid!), ask them to say a prayer with you that you can work through it. This was hard for me since I don't really do a lot of "Jesus speak" , but it really helps.
I guess one other thing that I have to constantly remember is that I am the adult, I can control my attitude and reaction, and the only way he will learn to control his if he sees me able to control mine. However, now that I have made myself sound like an absolute saint.... I am not, and we often have days where I threaten to load them on the school bus the next day.
Hope I'm not too preachy, I am just blindly feeling my way through this stuff too, but I know you can be sucessful, because I know you.
Goodness, your godson just wandered by and left behind a very distictive odor, so I had better chase after!
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