Because when I receive a catalog in the mail that beams: "experience the joys of homeschooling!" I snarl and want to rip it to tiny shreds.
Because I feel inadequate and uninspiring. And worst of all, depressing. No one needs that in their lives, least of all me.
Because our busy days can be joyful or a burden, and I have chosen the wrong attitude... And am having a hard time scrambling out of the pit I have so meticulously dug.
Because sometimes even the sunshine can mock and the warm weather taunt.
Because finally, we live in a fallen world and I am a fallen creature. But thankfully, a redeemed one. And a very-much loved one. And there are days when no amount of happy-faced writing can take the place of that.
Only He alone can heal my heart and fill my soul.
5 comments:
My oh my, does this post reveal whats hidden in my heart lately. Your right, He alone can heal your heart, but also knowing your not alone in your stuggles might help a little too.
Post when you feel drawn to it. Otherwise, go...live your wonderful child filled life. :o) We'll be here waiting for you when you get back.
Blessings!
Yup. Still here.
And, yes, if all the blogs in all the world went away tomorrow, He would still be here, and He's all we really need.
A hug to you, Nutmeg.
I can relate ... oh so well. One minute something can be so inspiring and the next so discouraging. I guess that is life. When we put ourselves in charge of our children's education at home, I do think that pressure can be really tough depending on our personalities. I know for myself, I want ALL the best for my girls and almost nothing is good enough on most days ... that is such a struggle for me.
You are a great Mom and while I can't see into your school I can read your thoughts (here) and know that you put your children first ... you love and it shows!
"Because when I receive a catalog in the mail that beams: "experience the joys of homeschooling!" I snarl and want to rip it to tiny shreds."
Amen to that, sister.
What a beautiful, honest post. We are all in this place now and again. Look forward to the beautiful peak that will follow this valley--you have put your trust in Him and he will lift you up, guaranteed.
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